I had my 16 week checkup today. I've been feeling really great recently...I think my TSH levels finally evened out over the last few weeks because I haven't been feeling as crappy as I did last month.
I gained a pound, which puts my total weight change to -3 (wooo hooo)! I was really excited to see that I gained SOMETHING, even if it is just one pound...I just feel paranoid that if I lose weight the entire pregnancy the baby won't be healthy. Crazy I know, but it's the worry-wart of a mommy in me!
They did the quadruple screen and checked my TSH levels to make sure they're still below 3. And, I've been feeling strong braxton hicks contractions for the last few weeks, a couple of times per day. I asked him about feeling them so early on, and he said it's normal, that my uterus actually contracts 3-4 times per HOUR! So it's OK to feel it, just as long as it's not accompanied by blood or weird mucus-y discharge.
Also, little bean's HR was 160 INTERESTINGLY....one of my fellow pregnant mommas passed along a fun site to "predict" the baby's gender (http://www.babybpm.com/)and at 12w 6d with a HR of 130, the baby was predicted a boy. But now it's predicting GIRL, based on 16w 6d with a HR of 160! I know it's just an old wives tale and it's about as accurate as the chinese gender calendar (which all told me Aidan was supposed to be a girl). But, this just makes me even more anxious for Friday when we have our gender confirmation scan. I'm so excited, I probably won't be sleeping from here until then!
Anyway, I scheduled the anatomy scan for Dec. 12 at 2pm, and my next checkup is on Jan 3. I'm so glad everything is going well...no PIH and hopefully no diabetes. Now if I could just have a successful VBAC, I think I can file this pregnancy under "AWESOME"! It's really important to me to have an uneventful, healthy pregnancy. I really want to apply to be a surrogate after I have this baby next year, and I think it'll look great if they see I've recently had a healthy pregnancy.
And randomly, off topic, I'm going to a place I never thought I would ever go before: Cloth Diapering! I know, it sounds silly, but I have a severe aversion to dealing with poopy diapers. I couldn't fathom having to spray off a dirty diaper before washing it, not to mention my OCD tendencies would never let me put a completely filthy diaper into my washing machine....it would be forever soiled in my eyes! But I've asked around and I've been schooled on the cloth diapering ways. So I've been doing research to figure out what brands might suit me and how much cheaper it would be....and I think I'm going to try it out. They make these liners that go over the cloth insert, so when you get a dirty diaper, you just flush the liner and wash the insert, which calms my anxiety about having to get my hands and/or washing machine dirty. I might actually like it, especially since I refused to breast feed before I got pregnant with Aidan and then ended up conceding to try it and in the end loving it! And hey, if it saves us from having to buy spend a ton of money on diapers, I'm willing to give it a shot.
So that's my update. My next update will be about the baby's gender, but it won't be until after we tell Casey's family in person, right before Christmas. And in case you missed it, we finally compromised on a girl's name. Aidan actually picked it out, and since Casey hates my top choices and I hate his, we had to go back to the drawing board. I didn't like it at first, but our choice has been growing on me. So, if it's a girl, she will be Abigail Maria-Jane (calling her Abby for short). And it was never a question as to what boy's name we were going to use...we've had this first name picked out since before we started trying for a second! But we did pick out a middle name we liked, so if it is a boy, he will be Jackson James-Cooper (I imagine calling him Jack, JJ, or JCoop for short lol). So hang tight, only a few more weeks until the world will know if we're on team pink or team blue!
30 November 2011
16 November 2011
Six years down, forever to go...
My forever didn't start in the traditional way. Usually, there's a dating period, a living together period before getting engaged, the engagement period, and then the long awaited nuptials. The happy couple celebrate with their close friends and families, and set off for a romantic getaway on some secluded resort with picturesque views. It's like a formula, you go from A to B, from B to C, so on and so forth. Every young girl pictures this sequence of events, planning details along the way. I was no different, I knew exactly how it would all go down. Only, I couldn't have been more wrong.
In December of 2003 I met a guy in uniform. No big deal, it wasn't supposed to be a serious thing. I was single for the first time in a long time, and I all I cared about was having fun, not falling in love. Not to mention, all my other friends were dating Navy guys, so why not have a little fling? We never really talked about it but the understanding was, once schooling was over he would move on and so would I. But then...it got complicated. We fell for each other pretty hard. Five months later, when the time came and his orders to Guam showed up, I found that it wasn't as easy as I thought it would be to end it. I really had to think about what I was doing. If we ended it, I would always be wondering about what could have been. But if we tried, I would at least know...even if we failed, I could always take comfort in knowing we gave it a shot. By the time my boyfriend left for Guam and we said our final goodbyes, we had been together for 6 months. Only 6 months, and saying goodbye was the absolute hardest thing I ever had to do, probably because I didn't know if I'd ever see him again. We made it another 6 months of long distance "dating" before it all fell apart. I knew the odds were against us, but even still, I was crushed.
Fast forward to November of 2005. I ran to Louisiana to marry that same guy, a man I hadn't laid eyes on in 15 months. For 8 of those months we weren't dating or even talking. We started our relationship back up over the phone while living on opposite sides of the world. We made plans to get married that same way. I kept it a secret from most of my friends and family, partly because I didn't know (and didn't want to know) what they would say, and partly because I couldn't believe it was real. The night before I left for Louisiana, I was nervous, I don't think I slept at all. I don't even think it had sunk in that I was getting ready to go get married. I took the first 6 am flight out of Rhode Island and flew to where my future husband was waiting. All kinds of things were going on in my head...would he still think I was beautiful? What if he changed? What if he thought I changed? What if I see him and all my feelings disappear?? I was a wreck, I wasn't even sure how my legs were going to carry me off that plane. But somehow, I managed to get off the plane and walk what seemed like a mile from the tarmac to the airport where he was waiting inside. When the doors opened, I saw him standing there so incredibly handsome in his dress blues. My knees got weaker, but I managed to walk up to him. He put his arms around me, burying my head in his chest. I smelled that familiar smell, and I was done. However unconventional, this was right, he was the one for me. Standing in the tiny Alexandria airport with a handful of strangers watching and wondering, I was on the proverbial cloud 9.
The next night he had me get all dressed up and took me to a nice restaurant. He had planned it all out. There was a single table on the patio, under the stars, right in front of the fountain. We sat down, and as I was studying the menu, I looked up to see Casey on one knee next to me, asking me to marry him. He was giving me a little piece of what I had envisioned for myself: a romantic proposal. I will always appreciate that he treated that night as if he were asking me for the first time.
A few days later we were in a courthouse, with no one around but the people that truly mattered, saying our vows for the first time. I giggled through the entire ceremony, still not quite believing it was real. We spent a few more days together as husband and wife, and went our separate ways. Oddly enough, I didn't cry saying goodbye to him that time. I knew I'd be seeing him again. I flew back home, and came clean with my friends and family. People could call me crazy if they wanted, I knew what we had done was right for us.
The first year of marriage was lived out through e-mails, phone calls, and week long visit to see him in Guam. In that first year, we spent a whopping 34 non-consecutive days with each other. No doubt the best 34 days I ever had during that year. It was hard, but it made me realize just how much this marriage meant to me. As I walked down the aisle to meet my already husband when we renewed our vows on October 29, 2006, I did not giggle. The swell of emotions knowing that I was getting ready to leave all my friends and family behind to be with this amazing man was overwhelming. Everything I'd been waiting for was here. I couldn't help but cry as we read the new and personal vows that we wrote to each other. Even though we were already married, it was still perfect.
Things now are not how I pictured my marriage to be when I was younger. I say goodbye to my husband more than I would like. Sometimes I have to be mommy and daddy to our little boy. I have to trust that my husband will come home safe after every deployment and that we will be able to pick up from where we left off. We've missed anniversaries, birthdays, and holidays. There have been times where I hated this life and all the time we missed out on. But I would never change it. We may not have the kind of marriage I pictured, but I love him more than I ever imagined I could. Six years into our forever, and I know there will be rough patches down the road. I know we will have to say goodbye, that we'll spend too much time missing each other, and become frustrated at trying to work around the Navy's schedule. But I look forward to the homecomings, the sweet hellos and first kisses, every holiday spent together, seeing our family grow, and all the nights I'm lucky enough to fall asleep in his arms. I look forward to being loved and to loving him more as the years pass.
As hard it might be sometimes, I love you Casey, and it will always be worth it.
In December of 2003 I met a guy in uniform. No big deal, it wasn't supposed to be a serious thing. I was single for the first time in a long time, and I all I cared about was having fun, not falling in love. Not to mention, all my other friends were dating Navy guys, so why not have a little fling? We never really talked about it but the understanding was, once schooling was over he would move on and so would I. But then...it got complicated. We fell for each other pretty hard. Five months later, when the time came and his orders to Guam showed up, I found that it wasn't as easy as I thought it would be to end it. I really had to think about what I was doing. If we ended it, I would always be wondering about what could have been. But if we tried, I would at least know...even if we failed, I could always take comfort in knowing we gave it a shot. By the time my boyfriend left for Guam and we said our final goodbyes, we had been together for 6 months. Only 6 months, and saying goodbye was the absolute hardest thing I ever had to do, probably because I didn't know if I'd ever see him again. We made it another 6 months of long distance "dating" before it all fell apart. I knew the odds were against us, but even still, I was crushed.
Fast forward to November of 2005. I ran to Louisiana to marry that same guy, a man I hadn't laid eyes on in 15 months. For 8 of those months we weren't dating or even talking. We started our relationship back up over the phone while living on opposite sides of the world. We made plans to get married that same way. I kept it a secret from most of my friends and family, partly because I didn't know (and didn't want to know) what they would say, and partly because I couldn't believe it was real. The night before I left for Louisiana, I was nervous, I don't think I slept at all. I don't even think it had sunk in that I was getting ready to go get married. I took the first 6 am flight out of Rhode Island and flew to where my future husband was waiting. All kinds of things were going on in my head...would he still think I was beautiful? What if he changed? What if he thought I changed? What if I see him and all my feelings disappear?? I was a wreck, I wasn't even sure how my legs were going to carry me off that plane. But somehow, I managed to get off the plane and walk what seemed like a mile from the tarmac to the airport where he was waiting inside. When the doors opened, I saw him standing there so incredibly handsome in his dress blues. My knees got weaker, but I managed to walk up to him. He put his arms around me, burying my head in his chest. I smelled that familiar smell, and I was done. However unconventional, this was right, he was the one for me. Standing in the tiny Alexandria airport with a handful of strangers watching and wondering, I was on the proverbial cloud 9.
The next night he had me get all dressed up and took me to a nice restaurant. He had planned it all out. There was a single table on the patio, under the stars, right in front of the fountain. We sat down, and as I was studying the menu, I looked up to see Casey on one knee next to me, asking me to marry him. He was giving me a little piece of what I had envisioned for myself: a romantic proposal. I will always appreciate that he treated that night as if he were asking me for the first time.
A few days later we were in a courthouse, with no one around but the people that truly mattered, saying our vows for the first time. I giggled through the entire ceremony, still not quite believing it was real. We spent a few more days together as husband and wife, and went our separate ways. Oddly enough, I didn't cry saying goodbye to him that time. I knew I'd be seeing him again. I flew back home, and came clean with my friends and family. People could call me crazy if they wanted, I knew what we had done was right for us.
The first year of marriage was lived out through e-mails, phone calls, and week long visit to see him in Guam. In that first year, we spent a whopping 34 non-consecutive days with each other. No doubt the best 34 days I ever had during that year. It was hard, but it made me realize just how much this marriage meant to me. As I walked down the aisle to meet my already husband when we renewed our vows on October 29, 2006, I did not giggle. The swell of emotions knowing that I was getting ready to leave all my friends and family behind to be with this amazing man was overwhelming. Everything I'd been waiting for was here. I couldn't help but cry as we read the new and personal vows that we wrote to each other. Even though we were already married, it was still perfect.
Things now are not how I pictured my marriage to be when I was younger. I say goodbye to my husband more than I would like. Sometimes I have to be mommy and daddy to our little boy. I have to trust that my husband will come home safe after every deployment and that we will be able to pick up from where we left off. We've missed anniversaries, birthdays, and holidays. There have been times where I hated this life and all the time we missed out on. But I would never change it. We may not have the kind of marriage I pictured, but I love him more than I ever imagined I could. Six years into our forever, and I know there will be rough patches down the road. I know we will have to say goodbye, that we'll spend too much time missing each other, and become frustrated at trying to work around the Navy's schedule. But I look forward to the homecomings, the sweet hellos and first kisses, every holiday spent together, seeing our family grow, and all the nights I'm lucky enough to fall asleep in his arms. I look forward to being loved and to loving him more as the years pass.
As hard it might be sometimes, I love you Casey, and it will always be worth it.
02 November 2011
Helllloooooo Second Trimester!
Tomorrow I turn 13 weeks, which means I'm knocking on the door to my second trimester! I'm so happy to have made it this far...I can rest a bit easier since chances of m/c drop significantly after 13 weeks.
I had my 4 week checkup today. I didn't see my regular doctor, but a student who is working with the doctor and midwife at the practice. She was very nice so I didn't mind seeing her at all. I gave her my list of complaints, reasons why I thought my synthroid wasn't working as well, and asked about fioricet. She said that because I have a history of migraines, it would be a good idea to see a neurologist because having a headache every day is not just because of the pregnancy. So I'll have to go back to my primary physician to get that referral put in. And they said it was too early to test my thyroid again because 4 weeks ago it was 2.6 (YAY!). However, because of my complaints they'll be checking the levels again in 4 weeks just to make sure I'm still good.
Otherwise, everything looks OK...BP was a bit high 136/80, but then again I've been battling a headache for the better part of 2 weeks so I wasn't surprised. Baby's HR was in the 130s and she found it right in the spot where I've been feeling all the flutters. I lost 4 lbs...no clue how I lost weight since I've been great in giving into my insane cravings (i.e. downing two kickin coney hotdogs from sonic like it's my job lol). I think a lot of it has to do with my loss of appetite...by the time dinner comes, I literally have to force myself to eat (one of the reasons I thought my synthroid needed to be increased). They're also weaning me off metformin, so that's one less pill I have to worry about every day! My next appointment is November 30. I will also be making an appointment at the 3D sonogram place for December 2 to find out the gender of the baby. Casey won't be here for my 20 week growth scan, and I really wanted him to be with me when we found out boy or girl. So, one month from today, we'll be doing a short 2D ultrasound package to find out if the baby is Jackson or if we will be fighting about girl names from here straight until May.
Also, I think I did come to the decision about how I'll be giving birth. The hospital policy here is to perform a c-section rather than push for a VBAC. However, my doctor's office said that if I want a VBAC, they would send me out for a VBAC consult around my 28 week mark. If that comes back OK, then I would just come to the local hospital, and tell them that I refuse a c-section. She said that there are risks, and they will make me sign forms acknowledging those risks, but I have the right to refuse a c-section. SO, if I want a VBAC, I can still use this local hospital (which is so convenient because it's literally 5 minutes from my house). I know I swore when I witnessed Paxton's birth I'd never do it, but a big part of me is saying not to worry about the pain it'll be easier to recover from. I remember then massaging my uterus after my c-section with Aidan because they thought I was hemorrhaging, and there's probably nothing more painful than that (I almost passed out from the pain). I know this means we'll be waiting around for me to go into labor, but I really think that's the route I'm going to take. I'm less nervous about doing it that way, than opting for a spinal block and letting them cut me open while I lay there worrying that the feeling is going to return and I'll feel them sewing me up.
That's about it. I was very happy to hear baby's heart beat because I can't always find it with my doppler at home. But she found it right where I usually do, and where I've been feeling all my little flutters. I can't wait for December 2 so I can finally start saying he or she. But if November goes by anywhere near as fast as October did, it'll be here before I know it!
I had my 4 week checkup today. I didn't see my regular doctor, but a student who is working with the doctor and midwife at the practice. She was very nice so I didn't mind seeing her at all. I gave her my list of complaints, reasons why I thought my synthroid wasn't working as well, and asked about fioricet. She said that because I have a history of migraines, it would be a good idea to see a neurologist because having a headache every day is not just because of the pregnancy. So I'll have to go back to my primary physician to get that referral put in. And they said it was too early to test my thyroid again because 4 weeks ago it was 2.6 (YAY!). However, because of my complaints they'll be checking the levels again in 4 weeks just to make sure I'm still good.
Otherwise, everything looks OK...BP was a bit high 136/80, but then again I've been battling a headache for the better part of 2 weeks so I wasn't surprised. Baby's HR was in the 130s and she found it right in the spot where I've been feeling all the flutters. I lost 4 lbs...no clue how I lost weight since I've been great in giving into my insane cravings (i.e. downing two kickin coney hotdogs from sonic like it's my job lol). I think a lot of it has to do with my loss of appetite...by the time dinner comes, I literally have to force myself to eat (one of the reasons I thought my synthroid needed to be increased). They're also weaning me off metformin, so that's one less pill I have to worry about every day! My next appointment is November 30. I will also be making an appointment at the 3D sonogram place for December 2 to find out the gender of the baby. Casey won't be here for my 20 week growth scan, and I really wanted him to be with me when we found out boy or girl. So, one month from today, we'll be doing a short 2D ultrasound package to find out if the baby is Jackson or if we will be fighting about girl names from here straight until May.
Also, I think I did come to the decision about how I'll be giving birth. The hospital policy here is to perform a c-section rather than push for a VBAC. However, my doctor's office said that if I want a VBAC, they would send me out for a VBAC consult around my 28 week mark. If that comes back OK, then I would just come to the local hospital, and tell them that I refuse a c-section. She said that there are risks, and they will make me sign forms acknowledging those risks, but I have the right to refuse a c-section. SO, if I want a VBAC, I can still use this local hospital (which is so convenient because it's literally 5 minutes from my house). I know I swore when I witnessed Paxton's birth I'd never do it, but a big part of me is saying not to worry about the pain it'll be easier to recover from. I remember then massaging my uterus after my c-section with Aidan because they thought I was hemorrhaging, and there's probably nothing more painful than that (I almost passed out from the pain). I know this means we'll be waiting around for me to go into labor, but I really think that's the route I'm going to take. I'm less nervous about doing it that way, than opting for a spinal block and letting them cut me open while I lay there worrying that the feeling is going to return and I'll feel them sewing me up.
That's about it. I was very happy to hear baby's heart beat because I can't always find it with my doppler at home. But she found it right where I usually do, and where I've been feeling all my little flutters. I can't wait for December 2 so I can finally start saying he or she. But if November goes by anywhere near as fast as October did, it'll be here before I know it!
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