I hurt.
I hurt badly.
Yesterday I had the bright idea of heading to the gym. Only I chickened out at the sight of all those cars in the parking lot. Lame, I know. But I really have this thing about working out in front of other people! Back home at club fit, they had a women's only area and it was WONDERFUL. Almost always empty and more importantly, no men to sit around and judge me. I know they're probably not even paying attention to me, but when I'm there, it's like I can FEEL all the eyes burning into me. I know I'm crazy, whatever, you have your quirks and I have mine!
Anyway, so never having actually gone to this base gym before, not only was I going into unfamiliar territory, but I was going during gym "rush hour"....LUNCHTIME. What the hell were all those men doing at the gym on their lunch hour anyway?!? So I looked at the track, and it was empty. Score, I'll just do my cardio outside. It was a beautiful 63 degrees out, the sun was shining and the wind blowing.
Now, in case you don't know me, I don't work out. I try. Really hard. But it's been a while since my last "try" and I'm sooooo out of practice. More importantly, I don't run....not unless there's a spider in front of me. So I had the bright idea of "easing" into it. I walked a 1/4 mi, and then I ran a 1/4 mile, and then I walked the curves and ran the straightaways, and then walked the last 1/4 mi. Bad idea. My legs hurt so bad I'm wobbling around here like I have a stick wedged up my ass. Not pretty, and not effective, because I can't even stand to walk from the kitchen to the bathroom. Yes, I've been holding my pee for the last hour because it hurts to walk. Ugh. Stupid exercise.
20 October 2009
Time to Baby Dance.....Well Almost...
In my head and my hormones really need to get in sync with each other. My head says we should really wait to try and have another baby until official orders, so we know if we have to move at the end of next summer or not. My head is telling me we should save up money before we get pregnant so we're not stressing over buying more baby furniture. My head is also telling me, wait until Aidan is potty trained so you're not drowning in diapers, and while you're at it, lost a good 15 lbs beforehand so you don't develop diabetes again. My head is annoyingly right on the money.
My hormones, however, have a different idea. They're screaming for another baby ASAP. They make me crazy, getting me all teary eyed when I see pictures of Aidan when he was a baby....making me feel like a jealous fiend when I see a pregnant woman, or hear about friends getting pregnant. I almost feel like it's a conspiracy, everyone is pregnant, everyone except ME! I want it so desperately...even though I know the desire to have another baby is intensified by hormones, I can't think rationally about it. Oh wait, I CAN think rationally, I just can't act rationally.
And so, it has been decided, my hormones win. If you're a female, and have been guilty of eating a box of cupcakes, or all the bags of candy you bought for the trick or treaters, you know....hormones always win. So after talking to my husband (who has no idea about hormones by the way....ugh, men, they have it way too easy), it has been decided that the ONE chance we have to get pregnant when he's home between deployments, we will try. If it happens, it happens, I'll be ecstatic. If it doesn't, then I will continue to torture myself with thoughts of pregnant bellies and baby names until next deployment is over. Time will tell. And if anyone wants to know, all I want for Christmas is a BFP.
My hormones, however, have a different idea. They're screaming for another baby ASAP. They make me crazy, getting me all teary eyed when I see pictures of Aidan when he was a baby....making me feel like a jealous fiend when I see a pregnant woman, or hear about friends getting pregnant. I almost feel like it's a conspiracy, everyone is pregnant, everyone except ME! I want it so desperately...even though I know the desire to have another baby is intensified by hormones, I can't think rationally about it. Oh wait, I CAN think rationally, I just can't act rationally.
And so, it has been decided, my hormones win. If you're a female, and have been guilty of eating a box of cupcakes, or all the bags of candy you bought for the trick or treaters, you know....hormones always win. So after talking to my husband (who has no idea about hormones by the way....ugh, men, they have it way too easy), it has been decided that the ONE chance we have to get pregnant when he's home between deployments, we will try. If it happens, it happens, I'll be ecstatic. If it doesn't, then I will continue to torture myself with thoughts of pregnant bellies and baby names until next deployment is over. Time will tell. And if anyone wants to know, all I want for Christmas is a BFP.
First One
Myspace used to be hott back in the day. Now, not so much. I used to blog constantly, since I was a stay at home wife, stuck in Guam, with nothing better to do. After I had Aidan, my blogs dropped to a minimum. I'm thinking....I should start again. It was entertaining to me, and as one of my professors pointed out, I should really try and write on a daily basis to hone my writing skills. I figure, it can't hurt. So here I am. Back in the blogging business. I think it'll be fun....
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