Can't believe this is real!

First, I would like to give a huge THANK YOU to everyone for giving us their congrats and well wishes!!

As you probably know, Aidan is going to be a big brother....we finally got our little rainbow baby! I'm not sure of the due date because we were actually on a two month TTC break. The plan was to stay on metformin until I had a cycle sometime in September, then get off of it and start clomid again. So at no point in time during these last two months did I chart my temps or use an OPK to detect ovulation. I had actually decided that it was important we not resume TTC this month because we needed to figure out what was going on with my thyroid.

Anyway, admittedly, I took two tests before. One yesterday and one the day before. I don't know why, but something was just telling me to test. I waited just long enough for the test line to appear, and when I saw there was no second line, I tossed them in the trash. Well this morning, I decided to use a more sensitive test. At first no lines appeared in the little window. Slowly the control line faded in and when it was almost fully pink, I saw a hint of a second line. I waited and waited and waited and grabbed my camera to take a pic just in case I was going crazy.

Then I called Casey. No answer. So I called my sister to geek out...I couldn't hold it in! Casey finally called me back and he was shocked. Like I said...we were on a break! He asked me if I was sure sure it was positive. Even though I told him yes, I couldn't help but pee on two more sticks, just to make sure....

So, there you have it. Sometime late April or early May we'll be adding to the family. I'm shocked, thrilled, excited and I'm not quite sure if it's set in yet. We've spent three years trying to make this happen, and I'm praying that this time goes much differently than last year.

As for my meds...I started the synthroid about a week ago and I feel great! Aside from the sore boobs, queasiness when my belly gets empty, and the fatigue, I feel...different. I think my moods have evened themselves out and I just have a general well-being feeling going on, whereas before I generally just felt crappy. It's safe to take during pregnancy, so I'm going to keep taking the synthroid as long as I feel like it's helping me.

Thank you all for your excitement and enthusiasm...I don't know what I would do without my fantastic support system of family and friends!

Still no definitive answers...

I finally got a hold of my doctor today. I ended up going for my third blood draw in three weeks to check my thyroid levels and I was anxious to find out how they came back. She shocked me by saying they were "normal". She told me they came back at 5.60 which is lower than the 6.52 they were the first time. I told her that my OB went ahead and did his own labs, and he told me that the week in between those readings, my TSH was at 4.88 and he also considered them "normal". So let's recap: week one my levels were 6.52, week two they were 4.88, and week three they were back up to 5.60??? OK, I'm not a doctor, and I knew my readings were probably not all going to be the same number, but those three readings seem screwy to me. And the odds of having one fluke test I'll consider, but three flukes?? Nope I'm not buying that one.

Anyway, she then said she wanted to keep checking the levels periodically to see if something might be up, but I just cut her off. I told her I'd been reading up on hypothyroidism, and not only do I have a lot of the symptoms, but most of them are symptoms that I had no clue were something worthy of even complaining about (I'm not going to make a doctor's appointment for dry skin and changes in my hair!). I told her it's not like I can't live my life, but the majority of these things are annoying and I'm unhappy. I feel like crap all the time, I'm tired, I'm depressed, I feel gross with the way my body has changed, and I'm just frustrated with being told there's nothing wrong. I told her I want to start the synthroid just to see if it might help alleviate the symptoms. She said there was no harm in trying it, so she put in a scrip at the pharmacy for me. She also asked me to start keeping a log of how I'm feeling off the meds and continue it when I'm on them.

Now here's the kicker: She's PCSing come the second week in September (for you non-military folk, it means she's headed to her next duty station and won't be my doctor anymore). She admitted that there are a lot of doctors at the clinic who would strongly disagree with what she's doing, and told me point blank not to go back to my previous doctor because he will take me off the meds. She said that given my complaints and everything I've talked to her about, she really does think it's worth looking into and gave me the names of two other doctors at the clinic that share her view when it comes to thyroid problems. I'm bummed that she won't be able to follow through with me, but I'm grateful that she gave me the heads up and referred me to a couple of doctors who would actually try to figure this thing out.

So there it is. Nothing concrete, no for sure answers or solutions to my problem. But at least I have the chance to find out if this new medicine will make me feel normal. She told me to see my new doctor in one month (or sooner if I'm not feeling right) to discuss what may have changed and to have my levels taken again. So fingers crossed there are major changes between now and then.

Decisions, decisions...

So...my OB called to give me the results of my labs. My A1C came back at 5.2, which I am more than thrilled about. But, my TSH came back at 4.88 which according to my doctor is within the normal range and does not need to be treated.

Now I'm slightly confused. My normal doctor feels that those levels are too high, but my OB disagrees. My normal doctor wants to treat hypothyroidism, and my OB seems to think I'm not. I have another blood draw on the 17th for my normal doctor. If it comes back within that 4.88 range, I know she's going to confirm the subclinical hypothyroidism diagnosis and want to start me on meds. But then what do I tell my OB?? I feel so awkward listening to one doctor and not the other.

My problem is that I have these symptoms that seem to fit hypothyroidism, and they make me miserable. As hard as it was for me to digest the fact that I may have hypothyroidism, after talking to Casey, I realized all the things I've been suffering from *might* be alleviated if I started on thyroid medication. So now, to hear that one of the doctors I trust feels I don't need it...I feel almost disappointed that I have no sure-fire solution on how to make me feel better.

I've tried researching what normal TSH levels are, and every article gives a different range. One article in particular say that some doctors say .3 to 5.0 is normal, while other feel .3 to 3.0 is normal. When I spoke to my regular doctor, she told me that someone like Dr. Conrad (my previous doctor) is more old school than she considers herself to be, and that doctors like him would probably not want to treat it. That being said, she definitely thinks a minimal dose could help alleviate my symptoms.

I hate being put in this position...I'm not a doctor, but I'm going to have to end up choosing which doctor's advice to follow. No matter what I do, I have to keep both doctors in the loop, and I don't want to feel like I have to defend my decision (which is what I know will end up happening once one of my doctors question why I am or am not taking meds).

If I had to be honest, right now my thinking is, I have all these symptoms that are making me miserable and I want to at least try the meds and see if they'll help. And now that I know what hypothyroidism can affect the development of a baby, I'm paranoid that if I get pregnant and don't take meds to regulate my thyroid, I'll be harming my baby. I don't want to have to argue with my OB (he's great and I don't want to switch doctors), but I really feel like something is wrong and I have to fix it. I will talk to my regular doctor and explain to her what my OB wants to do, talk about my symptoms and concerns, and go from there. But I'm pretty sure, if the TSH levels from the blood draw on the 17th come back elevated, I'll be trying the thyroid medication just to see if it'll change how I physically feel. I would just be so much more comfortable with this decision if BOTH of my doctors were in agreement. ::sigh::

Update

It's been a long time, but I've kind of enjoyed this break from TTC. I really needed to stop focusing on what my temps were every day, peeing on strips, and looking for signs of ovulation followed by obsessing over possible signs of pregnancy. July was pretty much all about relaxing and enjoying time with my son and my husband, and I think it went pretty well.

I did end up having a cycle that month. And this month I was supposed to start clomid again, but I decided against it. Last week I went in to see my regular doctor, and talk about my metformin use. It makes me so incredibly miserable. I felt like I was getting all of the side effects without any of the benefits. I'm still having a hard time losing weight, I'm tired ALL of the time (even if I sleep well), and I've been feeling a bit depressed. She commented on me being pale during that visit, so she decided to check my iron levels, and re-ran a test on my thyroid just to make sure nothing was up. Turns out, my iron was fine by my thyroid levels came back too low. She classified it as being subclinical hypothyroidism, and I will be going to re-check my levels on the 17th. Because of the possibility that I do have hypothyroidism, I decided to take another month off of trying to get pregnant. Reason being, I read that if you get pregnant and have untreated hypothyroidism, it can cause abnormalities and/or mental retardation in the baby. When the doctor asked why I didn't start clomid on this cycle, I explained my reasoning to him and he confirmed what I had read, saying it was a valid reason for not actively trying to conceive.

Also during this visit, I explained that last year my fasting sugar was below 90, but this year when we checked it, the test came back at 112, which is indicative of insulin resistance. So, he decided to go ahead and take some blood to test my A1C (to see how my sugar has been over the last three months) and my TSH levels to see exactly how low they are. If the hypothyroidism is confirmed, we will go ahead and treat it. If my A1C comes back above a 5.6, then we will switch me from metformin to another medication that will not treat the PCOS, but will treat the insulin resistance/pre-diabetes. I should know the results by Friday. After we find out the results we can go ahead and make plans to start up the clomid again.

So far I'm happy with this plan. I really want to know for sure if the hypothyroidism and the insulin resistance exist and should be treated, and then get that under control before we get pregnant so that I don't have another miscarriage or risk the baby developing any abnormalities. I'm hoping that once I get everything under control, I'll get pregnant relatively quickly and have a normal, healthy 9 months. We will see!