Wow, I've seriously been slacking on this blog thing! In my defense, we've been busier than usual around here. And forgive me, as I can already tell from the thoughts running through my head, this blog might be all over the place.
Aidan is now going to nursery school twice a week for three hours at a time. It's great because it gives me time to run errands, toddler free, and it gives him a chance to socialize with kids his own age. So far he seems to like it. The first day I dropped him off, he didn't even blink when I told him I was leaving. He just kissed me goodbye and went on to play with the other kids. It's seriously hard to believe he will be three next month. I say it all the time, but I really mean it when I say, "Where did the time go? Where has my baby gone??"
Today was also another first: his first dental appointment! I put it off until he had all of his teeth, telling myself it's just mean to have someone poking around in his mouth when his gums are all sore. But now his two year molars are almost totally in, so there was no more excuse for me to not take him. I thought it was going to be worse than it actually was, which was a good thing. The office I took him to was great, and the dentist he saw was very nice (definitely nicer than anyone I ever saw!). You can tell everyone in there deals with young kids all day, every day. The dentist said his teeth look excellent and they'll see him back in 6 months.
He also saw Dr. Norwood today for his allergies. The zyrtec has been working better than the Dimetap. He swallows the tiny tablet like a champ every night! But we also added Nasonex to the zyrtec because he still sneezes and has a runny nose most days, especially in the mornings. Hopefully that helps. And we also finally got a referral to Nemours down in Jacksonville so we can hopefully have a re-circumcision done. He has a complete adhesion, and it's only getting worse. So both Casey and I felt it would be better to have it redone, and the sooner the better because I don't want him to remember it! But other than all of that, he's doing absolutely great.
On the baby making front, there's no news. I started the provera shortly after I found out the first round of clomid didn't work. It's been three days since I stopped the provera and I've still yet to start my cycle, which is more than frustrating. I need CD 1 to get here before I can start the next round of clomid, and I feel like I'm just stuck in limbo. I have a feeling I'll be calling the doctor for some advice. I'm not OK with just waiting around!
On the fitness front, I started a diet. The Biggest Loser online thing, is like weight watchers. I suck at it! On the plus side, it gives me a limit to stay in, and when I enter all of my foods for the day it tells me if I've stayed within my limit. The huge downside is I feel like I'm starving trying to stay within these limits! Also, the recipes they provide are usually gross. I've tried....and some things come out really great, like quinoa. But I miss being able to eat a whole baked potato. I miss cheese! I miss ice cream (although today I made a kick ass fat free banana sorbet at 108 calories per half cup serving) and crackers, and sandwiches. I have to admit...I'm not a veggie lover. I like spinach, broccoli, green beans, etc. But I don't ever crave them. I like to have them with my meals, not as a meal in itself. Add to that the fact that I haven't lost a single pound in over a week, and it feels useless. I know losing weight with PCOS is difficult, but it shouldn't be this hard, especially when I feel like I'm starving.
In all honesty, it's frustrating. I'm this close to asking to be put on metformin. Yes, I know I'll feel miserable. But at least when I paid attention to what I was eating and I was working out three times a week, I actually lost weight. All my hard work did something. And I'm thinking, maybe I might have a better chance at getting pregnant if I'm on a combination of metformin and clomid, rather than just one of the two. I don't know. Casey hated seeing me suffer through headaches, and the metformin pretty much made me feel like crap 24/7. I don't know if it was in my head but Casey hated me being on metformin so much, I think it actually strained our marriage. But between the provera and the clomid, I still get headaches. And at least on the metformin, I'd be less self conscious about how I look. The weight gain isn't the only thing that makes me cringe. My skin has gotten worse and the lovely hair growth is getting way out of control. Simply put: I'm unhappy, and I'm not quite sure what to do about it.
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