OK so I REALLY slacked off there in the last part of my pregnancy!
To re-cap: I'm obviously not pregnant any more. I had a little bit of a hard time during that last month. The weekend of Aidan's birthday I landed myself in the hospital with contractions and they were afraid it was false labor. I dilated to 2, but they were able to stop them by pushing LOTS of IV fluids and just waiting to see what happened. Thank GOD because I was only 34 weeks. However, I did not have long to wait. At 37 weeks, 3 days I got the bright idea to take my son bowling. Not wanting to be the only one left out, I actually bowled an entire game (granny style of course). All that squatting must have signaled to Abby that her time was up because my water broke that night. In the chaos that ensued, I went to the local hospital instead of driving all the way to Shands, and ended up having another c-section. Not the birth that I had planned, but at 11:26 pm on April 22, my precious little girl arrived, healthy and perfect in every way.
Life right now is a little crazy. Going from one to two is hard in the sense that I'm so busy taking care of Aidan and Abby that I sometimes have to put my own needs on the back burner. Some days that means getting up at 7:30 am with Aidan when I've had zero sleep because Abby fussed all night, or not getting to eat lunch until 3pm, or not getting to shower until 5pm when Daddy is home to take over. However, I truly would not have it any other way.
Abby is amazing. She can be a little diva at times and isn't as laid back as Aidan is, but she's still a great baby. She started sleeping through the night at 6 weeks, and I was able to breast feed her for the first three months before my milk dried up. She resembles her big brother in a lot of ways, just with less hair. Go figure I would have a son born with a head full of hair, and a daughter who is semi-bald!
Aidan is also doing REALLY well. He wasn't so interested in Abby when she got here, but he warmed up to her quickly. He's a HUGE help around the house and you can tell he loves her. He'll go up to her and talk to her and she just gives him this big gummy smile....it makes my heart happy. It's crazy to see how much he's grown in what seems to me like a short amount of time. I mean I remember doing what I do now with Abby with him four years ago. I'll be reminiscing about him being a baby and then he'll come up to me and we will have this intelligent conversation about something random, like how it's rude for puppies to lick people because they don't ask first (his words, not mine!). And I will be blow away with how it all goes by too fast. It's a nice reminder to savor every baby minute with Abby.
So now that we are pretty much caught up, I will try to blog as often as I can, keeping everyone updated on Abby's milestones, Aidan's big kid milestones, and the fun (and the crazy) aspects of having two kids!
12 August 2012
22 March 2012
33 Weeks!
My doctor's appointment this time around was MUCH better than last time. My blood pressure was OK 133/82, and her HR was in the 140s. I'm still waiting on that consult from SHANDS, but everyone I've talked to (midwives and doctor) seems to think they'll allow me to do the VBAC even without the surgical report, which is a relief to me. I'm measuring right on track and have gained 14 lbs since the start, which isn't too bad.
Since my BP was OK, and the contractions haven't gotten any worse, they will let me come in every two weeks for the time being, which makes me happy. I feel a lot less stressed about the possibility of going into preterm labor, thankfully. I'm also thankful the midwife didn't check my cervix because I know I would have had a horrible day of contractions after that, and I think I have enough of them as it is! My next appointment is on April 4, and I also have an ultrasound this Monday to check and see how big Abigail is. If she gets to be too big, then they probably won't let me VBAC, so fingers crossed that she's not massive!
I also took some time to get her room together. I have pretty much everything taken out of her room that we were just storing in there. Everything was either tossed out or moved to a different location. I also sorted her clothes and washed everything. I packed her bag with most of the stuff we'll be taking with us to the hospital and I'm just waiting on her bedding to arrive so that can be washed, and the stuff my mom is shipping to me from the first shower. I'd say her room is about 85-90% done, which is also a huge relief. Diaper-wise, I have a pretty good stash going so far. I have 13 pockets/AIOs, 2 covers, and 26 prefolds in small and newborn sizes. I've got a diaper pail liner and special detergent on the way, so I'll be able to prep her diapers once that arrives.
So we're pretty much ready!! I'm still a little nervous because everyone keeps saying how hard it is to go from 1 child to 2. And I have no idea how Aidan is going to react despite all the talking about it with him we've been doing. But hopefully we'll all find our grooves quickly and it won't be too hard of an adjustment on any of us. I can hardly believe it, but we'll be facing that adjustment time within the next month or so. Time is flying by so quickly, and I'm trying to relish this last little bit of being pregnant with our last baby. At the same time I can't wait to meet her! Only 48 more days (or less!) and our family will be complete!!
Since my BP was OK, and the contractions haven't gotten any worse, they will let me come in every two weeks for the time being, which makes me happy. I feel a lot less stressed about the possibility of going into preterm labor, thankfully. I'm also thankful the midwife didn't check my cervix because I know I would have had a horrible day of contractions after that, and I think I have enough of them as it is! My next appointment is on April 4, and I also have an ultrasound this Monday to check and see how big Abigail is. If she gets to be too big, then they probably won't let me VBAC, so fingers crossed that she's not massive!
I also took some time to get her room together. I have pretty much everything taken out of her room that we were just storing in there. Everything was either tossed out or moved to a different location. I also sorted her clothes and washed everything. I packed her bag with most of the stuff we'll be taking with us to the hospital and I'm just waiting on her bedding to arrive so that can be washed, and the stuff my mom is shipping to me from the first shower. I'd say her room is about 85-90% done, which is also a huge relief. Diaper-wise, I have a pretty good stash going so far. I have 13 pockets/AIOs, 2 covers, and 26 prefolds in small and newborn sizes. I've got a diaper pail liner and special detergent on the way, so I'll be able to prep her diapers once that arrives.
So we're pretty much ready!! I'm still a little nervous because everyone keeps saying how hard it is to go from 1 child to 2. And I have no idea how Aidan is going to react despite all the talking about it with him we've been doing. But hopefully we'll all find our grooves quickly and it won't be too hard of an adjustment on any of us. I can hardly believe it, but we'll be facing that adjustment time within the next month or so. Time is flying by so quickly, and I'm trying to relish this last little bit of being pregnant with our last baby. At the same time I can't wait to meet her! Only 48 more days (or less!) and our family will be complete!!
14 March 2012
32 Week Check Up
Today completely threw me for a loop. I was expecting a normal, easy checkup, but my body had other plans. Despite a hectic morning, getting Aidan off to school, running home to fix him a lunch because he was staying at school until 2pm, and running back to the school to give him the lunch, I was able to make it to my doctor's appointment on time.
It was anything but the usual routine appointment. It started with a really bad dizzy spell at the doctor's office that had them concerned initially...they called it passing out, but I didn't fall or remember losing consciousness, I was just really out of it. After that was over, my BP started climbing instead of dropping, which then had them concerned about pre-eclampsia. Then they checked my blood sugar and saw it was higher than they would like it to be. I answered a bunch of questions from one of the midwives and my actual doctor and they had me lay down for a bit longer. My doctor came back to do the usual exam....Abby's HR was great, I'm measuring right on track, and everything else was looking good. Then I mentioned the contractions. It's not anything new, but the past few days they've been super painful and wrapping around to my back. So he decided to check my cervix. I'm starting to dilate already, so they swabbed me for a protein that might indicate preterm labor and brought in the ultrasound machine to check it. It's still 4cm long, which is good (anything under 3 is a concern he said), so now the only thing I can do is wait to hear the results of the protein test. He wants to see me weekly now to keep tabs on my contractions and my BP though, so no more 2 week appointments. And I've been instructed to rest more than normal...it's not bed rest, but he doesn't want me running errands all day like I've been doing recently.
UGH...so that's all I know for right now. They're also setting up a consult at SHANDS for my VBAC even though I haven't been able to locate the surgical report from Guam. So that was a bit of good news. He said they will probably allow me to try for the VBAC without it, but since we don't know if there is any underlying problem with my pelvis, my chances for a successful VBAC is only 50%. I think I'll take 50% over a scheduled c-section!
So, here's hoping the protein test comes back negative and I don't have to worry about Abby making her debut too early. And I'm praying I don't get put on full on bed rest...with Aidan's birthday party coming up, him being in school, and getting everything ready for Abby, it would just be a huge bummer. I'm not entirely sure what the plan of action is if the test comes back positive, but I guess we'll just have to cross that bridge when we get there.
UPDATE: The protein test (fetal fibronectin) came back negative which is awesome. It basically means that the chances of me delivering within the next two weeks are extremely small. However, it also means I just have to suck up these contractions and deal with them as best I can. But the negative result does make me worry less about how frequent and painful they are, so overall, it's great news.
It was anything but the usual routine appointment. It started with a really bad dizzy spell at the doctor's office that had them concerned initially...they called it passing out, but I didn't fall or remember losing consciousness, I was just really out of it. After that was over, my BP started climbing instead of dropping, which then had them concerned about pre-eclampsia. Then they checked my blood sugar and saw it was higher than they would like it to be. I answered a bunch of questions from one of the midwives and my actual doctor and they had me lay down for a bit longer. My doctor came back to do the usual exam....Abby's HR was great, I'm measuring right on track, and everything else was looking good. Then I mentioned the contractions. It's not anything new, but the past few days they've been super painful and wrapping around to my back. So he decided to check my cervix. I'm starting to dilate already, so they swabbed me for a protein that might indicate preterm labor and brought in the ultrasound machine to check it. It's still 4cm long, which is good (anything under 3 is a concern he said), so now the only thing I can do is wait to hear the results of the protein test. He wants to see me weekly now to keep tabs on my contractions and my BP though, so no more 2 week appointments. And I've been instructed to rest more than normal...it's not bed rest, but he doesn't want me running errands all day like I've been doing recently.
UGH...so that's all I know for right now. They're also setting up a consult at SHANDS for my VBAC even though I haven't been able to locate the surgical report from Guam. So that was a bit of good news. He said they will probably allow me to try for the VBAC without it, but since we don't know if there is any underlying problem with my pelvis, my chances for a successful VBAC is only 50%. I think I'll take 50% over a scheduled c-section!
So, here's hoping the protein test comes back negative and I don't have to worry about Abby making her debut too early. And I'm praying I don't get put on full on bed rest...with Aidan's birthday party coming up, him being in school, and getting everything ready for Abby, it would just be a huge bummer. I'm not entirely sure what the plan of action is if the test comes back positive, but I guess we'll just have to cross that bridge when we get there.
UPDATE: The protein test (fetal fibronectin) came back negative which is awesome. It basically means that the chances of me delivering within the next two weeks are extremely small. However, it also means I just have to suck up these contractions and deal with them as best I can. But the negative result does make me worry less about how frequent and painful they are, so overall, it's great news.
05 March 2012
66 days to go!
Can that be right, my ticker says only 66 days to go! I can hardly believe it!!
I also just noticed that I've been a slacker and a half on this blog too. But I've been horribly busy trying to get everything together for Abby's room and traveling to NY for the shower. I'm going to have to recap pretty much all of Feb, so bear with me.
First thing's first...I failed my glucose test (both of them) so I'm back on the diabetes diet. I pretty much knew it was coming so it wasn't the devastating news it was when I was pregnant with Aidan. I was well prepared to dive right back into it. So far it hasn't been bad. The only complaint I have is that my meter isn't giving me accurate readings. The doctor has checked my fasting twice, and compared to what I've been getting on my meter, they're definitely not the same. This makes it difficult to judge if I'm able to keep my fasting in check so I can avoid being put on insulin. The first time the doctor's office got 102 and my meter read 82, and the second time they got 96 while my meter read 89. So it's not even like it's consistently off. I still have to talk to the doctor to see what he wants to do about it, but most likely we're going to have to change out my meter.
At my 30 week check up, HR was excellent, in the upper 140s. I'm up 12 lbs total so far, which isn't bad at all. My TSH levels from the last visit came back great (1.32), and my bp was 122 over 86 (woo hoo!). As long as I can keep my fasting levels under control, I don't have to be seen every week, I can stay at every two weeks, but they're going to start doing an NST at each visit (non-stress test), which is no biggie.
As for the VBAC situation, I feel like we're still in limbo. For a while I had settled on just doing the c-section because I was so leery of going to a hospital I'd never been to. But then at my 30 week appointment, as I was explaining the reason behind my decision to the midwife, she told me there are ways to try and get around the local hospital's policy of no VBACs. It gave me some hope, but when I talked to Casey, he said it was like "cutting corners". I won't go into details about what she told me because she really wasn't supposed to be advising me on how to get around the system. But basically, after explaining it to him, Casey was not really comfortable with the idea. So I mulled it over in my mind, trying to decide just how much doing a VBAC meant to me. I reached out to a fellow Navy wife I trust who had given birth there and asked about her experience and what the hospital was like because I think a lack of knowledge about the other hospital was throwing me off. I finally decided I really do want to try. There are pros and cons to each side of the coin. Although the scheduled c-section would allow me to plan accordingly, be in a closer hospital with nicer accommodations, and ensure my doctor would deliver Abby, it just doesn't feel right to me. My gut is telling me to try for the VBAC. The hospital is further away, the rooms aren't as nice, and I have no idea who will be delivering Abby (a concern for me especially if my VBAC fails), but I just have the strong desire to try.
The only obstacle right now seems to be that Naval Hospital Guam has misplaced the surgical report from my c-section with Aidan, which means I can't have a consultation with a surgeon to prep me for the VBAC. I'm almost positive I have a transverse incision on my uterus rather than a vertical one, but without the report, there is no way of telling for sure, not to mention if there were any minor complications the doctor didn't mention to me. As far as I know, I had a c-section because Aidan's head was crooked in my pelvis and wouldn't come down past zero station, and everything during the surgery was routine. But who knows what's really in the report, so that's a concern for me. It's entirely possible that there's something in that report that would mean a VBAC is too risky, and in that case I would want to know. So I'm doing my best to track the report down before April so that I can make an informed (and wise) decision. Fingers crossed!!
Other than that February was very good us! I had a wonderful shower and saw a lot of people I haven't seen in a very long time. It was a short trip back home, but well worth it. We also had a 4D earlier in the month and got to see our little girl. First...she's definitely still a girl! I was very excited to hear that, given I've gotten so used to the idea of (not to mention excited about) having a girl. It was definitely an amazing 45 minutes. We saw her yawn, smile, open and close her eyes, and pout at something that made her mad. She also has a lot of hair, so I'm betting she comes out with dark hair like Aidan did (here's hoping she inherits his eyelashes from Casey as well!). She's got feet that are already 2.5 inches long (which by the tech's standards are apparently huge) and was over 2 lbs. The tech said if I give birth around my due date, she should be 7.5 lbs. I compared her 4D pictures and Aidan's, and I think they look a lot alike, just with different noses. The entire experience made me so incredibly excited to meet her!
March is looking to be just as busy as February. My little buddy turns 4 at the end of the month, and we're working on getting his party together. I have another baby shower on the 1st with my Georgia friends. And my doctor's appointments will be 2 weeks apart instead of 4. Aidan also has to be tested for allergies since none of the meds we've tried are working for him, so who knows how many doctor's visits that will add up to. We're also working on the nursery and trying to sell off all of Aidan's baby items (clothes, toys, travel system, etc). I feel like April will be here before I know it, and by the time my birthday rolls around, I could go into labor. It's crazy how fast this pregnancy has flown by, and I have loved all of it. This being my last baby, I've tried to savor every minute. I know a piece of me will be sad to not be pregnant anymore, but I am definitely looking forward to completing my family and meeting our Abigail.
I also just noticed that I've been a slacker and a half on this blog too. But I've been horribly busy trying to get everything together for Abby's room and traveling to NY for the shower. I'm going to have to recap pretty much all of Feb, so bear with me.
First thing's first...I failed my glucose test (both of them) so I'm back on the diabetes diet. I pretty much knew it was coming so it wasn't the devastating news it was when I was pregnant with Aidan. I was well prepared to dive right back into it. So far it hasn't been bad. The only complaint I have is that my meter isn't giving me accurate readings. The doctor has checked my fasting twice, and compared to what I've been getting on my meter, they're definitely not the same. This makes it difficult to judge if I'm able to keep my fasting in check so I can avoid being put on insulin. The first time the doctor's office got 102 and my meter read 82, and the second time they got 96 while my meter read 89. So it's not even like it's consistently off. I still have to talk to the doctor to see what he wants to do about it, but most likely we're going to have to change out my meter.
At my 30 week check up, HR was excellent, in the upper 140s. I'm up 12 lbs total so far, which isn't bad at all. My TSH levels from the last visit came back great (1.32), and my bp was 122 over 86 (woo hoo!). As long as I can keep my fasting levels under control, I don't have to be seen every week, I can stay at every two weeks, but they're going to start doing an NST at each visit (non-stress test), which is no biggie.
As for the VBAC situation, I feel like we're still in limbo. For a while I had settled on just doing the c-section because I was so leery of going to a hospital I'd never been to. But then at my 30 week appointment, as I was explaining the reason behind my decision to the midwife, she told me there are ways to try and get around the local hospital's policy of no VBACs. It gave me some hope, but when I talked to Casey, he said it was like "cutting corners". I won't go into details about what she told me because she really wasn't supposed to be advising me on how to get around the system. But basically, after explaining it to him, Casey was not really comfortable with the idea. So I mulled it over in my mind, trying to decide just how much doing a VBAC meant to me. I reached out to a fellow Navy wife I trust who had given birth there and asked about her experience and what the hospital was like because I think a lack of knowledge about the other hospital was throwing me off. I finally decided I really do want to try. There are pros and cons to each side of the coin. Although the scheduled c-section would allow me to plan accordingly, be in a closer hospital with nicer accommodations, and ensure my doctor would deliver Abby, it just doesn't feel right to me. My gut is telling me to try for the VBAC. The hospital is further away, the rooms aren't as nice, and I have no idea who will be delivering Abby (a concern for me especially if my VBAC fails), but I just have the strong desire to try.
The only obstacle right now seems to be that Naval Hospital Guam has misplaced the surgical report from my c-section with Aidan, which means I can't have a consultation with a surgeon to prep me for the VBAC. I'm almost positive I have a transverse incision on my uterus rather than a vertical one, but without the report, there is no way of telling for sure, not to mention if there were any minor complications the doctor didn't mention to me. As far as I know, I had a c-section because Aidan's head was crooked in my pelvis and wouldn't come down past zero station, and everything during the surgery was routine. But who knows what's really in the report, so that's a concern for me. It's entirely possible that there's something in that report that would mean a VBAC is too risky, and in that case I would want to know. So I'm doing my best to track the report down before April so that I can make an informed (and wise) decision. Fingers crossed!!
Other than that February was very good us! I had a wonderful shower and saw a lot of people I haven't seen in a very long time. It was a short trip back home, but well worth it. We also had a 4D earlier in the month and got to see our little girl. First...she's definitely still a girl! I was very excited to hear that, given I've gotten so used to the idea of (not to mention excited about) having a girl. It was definitely an amazing 45 minutes. We saw her yawn, smile, open and close her eyes, and pout at something that made her mad. She also has a lot of hair, so I'm betting she comes out with dark hair like Aidan did (here's hoping she inherits his eyelashes from Casey as well!). She's got feet that are already 2.5 inches long (which by the tech's standards are apparently huge) and was over 2 lbs. The tech said if I give birth around my due date, she should be 7.5 lbs. I compared her 4D pictures and Aidan's, and I think they look a lot alike, just with different noses. The entire experience made me so incredibly excited to meet her!
March is looking to be just as busy as February. My little buddy turns 4 at the end of the month, and we're working on getting his party together. I have another baby shower on the 1st with my Georgia friends. And my doctor's appointments will be 2 weeks apart instead of 4. Aidan also has to be tested for allergies since none of the meds we've tried are working for him, so who knows how many doctor's visits that will add up to. We're also working on the nursery and trying to sell off all of Aidan's baby items (clothes, toys, travel system, etc). I feel like April will be here before I know it, and by the time my birthday rolls around, I could go into labor. It's crazy how fast this pregnancy has flown by, and I have loved all of it. This being my last baby, I've tried to savor every minute. I know a piece of me will be sad to not be pregnant anymore, but I am definitely looking forward to completing my family and meeting our Abigail.
01 February 2012
26 week visit...
This was technically supposed to be my 24 week checkup, but I'm almost 2 weeks behind on my checkups because of the holidays. Anyway, I had the dreaded glucose test. I iced up the glucola drink that's been sitting in my fridge for the last four weeks, and drank it as fast as I could on the way to drop off Aidan at school. From there I went straight to my appointment. I was expecting the normal "everything's great" appointment, but I ended up leaving pretty unhappy.
Everything started out OK. I don't really have any complaints, other than the braxton hicks are getting strong and painful. My doctor asked how often I get them and I told him it's constant throughout the day...so many I can't keep track. Not that they're all painful, some of them are, but most of them are just pretty uncomfortable. So he decided to check my cervix just to make sure I'm not headed into preterm labor. Everything looked great, I'm still high and tight, which is fantastic.
Then he asked when I wanted to have my baby. I knew he meant to schedule a c-section, so I told him I really wanted a VBAC. Now, before I go on, let me just explain that I was under the impression I would have to have a consultation with a surgeon who could clear me for a VABC, and then I would have to wait until I went into labor, go to my local hospital and sign a crap ton of waivers and papers that would refuse a c-section. That's pretty much how it was explained to me by the midwife at an earlier appointment. Well, today I saw my doctor and it's the first time he and I discussed it. He said first I need to get the surgical report from my c-section (which took place at the Naval Hospital in GUAM), and then I can see a surgeon for a consult. Then, after that, I'd have to either travel to Savannah or down to Shands in Jacksonville. HUGE bummer because even with Shands being in Jacksonville, it's a much farther trek than going to the local hospital (which is literally 5 minutes from my house). Not to mention I've never set foot in Shands, so I'm clueless about the conditions within the hospital itself. And the kicker is, none of people from my doctor's office (him and two midwives) that have been taking care of me through this whole pregnancy would be there during delivery. I would have to rely on someone (likely a resident as explained by my doctor) I've never met to deliver my child. I think that's the biggest disappointment of all. I've spent so much time with my doctor and his midwives...they've been there through the ordeal of trying to conceive, through my miscarriage, and finally this pregnancy. I have a large amount of trust and faith in all of them...to know they wouldn't be there makes me so nervous.
So, even though I was dead set on a VBAC there's a huge possibility that I won't even get to try. I went to outpatient medical records on base today and they saw nothing in my records from Guam about the c-section, although they do have my OB chart. I filled out a request for the records to be transferred to Kings Bay from Guam, but it's the Navy and I bet any amount of money I'm going to have to be calling Guam myself before that surgical report is even located. And even if I do get my surgical report, I'm not as sure of this decision anymore because I won't be with my doctor or anyone on his staff. Given that there are certain risks during a VBAC, I would feel a lot more comfortable knowing my doctor would be on standby should something happen during labor. Now I feel like I'm right back at square one, unsure of what I want to do, and super frustrated that the decision might be made for me if I can't track down those surgical notes.
Other than that, I'm just waiting on the results of the glucose test. They also tested my blood count, TSH, and gave me an antibody screen so that I can get my rhogam shot on the 15th. All of those results should be in by Friday, so at least I won't be left hanging. Baby girl is looking good as well, her heartbeat was super strong when we listened today and my BP was great. So hopefully all those results come back normal and I won't have anything else to add to my list of worries.
We're also going to have a 4D ultrasound done in the next couple of weeks. I'd like 4D confirmation Abby is still a girl before we start getting rid of all our boy clothes! I'd also like to see how she looks, if she really has Aidan's nose or not and if she's got any hair. I'm really excited for the ultrasound...with Aidan I was only 23 weeks or so, and there wasn't much chub on him. Hopefully at 28 weeks she'll be a little chunky and her facial features will be really defined.
That's about it for the update. My next appointment is on Feb 29th, and after that I'll start going every 2 weeks. Crazy how the time is flying right by! Seems like she'll be here before I know it!
Everything started out OK. I don't really have any complaints, other than the braxton hicks are getting strong and painful. My doctor asked how often I get them and I told him it's constant throughout the day...so many I can't keep track. Not that they're all painful, some of them are, but most of them are just pretty uncomfortable. So he decided to check my cervix just to make sure I'm not headed into preterm labor. Everything looked great, I'm still high and tight, which is fantastic.
Then he asked when I wanted to have my baby. I knew he meant to schedule a c-section, so I told him I really wanted a VBAC. Now, before I go on, let me just explain that I was under the impression I would have to have a consultation with a surgeon who could clear me for a VABC, and then I would have to wait until I went into labor, go to my local hospital and sign a crap ton of waivers and papers that would refuse a c-section. That's pretty much how it was explained to me by the midwife at an earlier appointment. Well, today I saw my doctor and it's the first time he and I discussed it. He said first I need to get the surgical report from my c-section (which took place at the Naval Hospital in GUAM), and then I can see a surgeon for a consult. Then, after that, I'd have to either travel to Savannah or down to Shands in Jacksonville. HUGE bummer because even with Shands being in Jacksonville, it's a much farther trek than going to the local hospital (which is literally 5 minutes from my house). Not to mention I've never set foot in Shands, so I'm clueless about the conditions within the hospital itself. And the kicker is, none of people from my doctor's office (him and two midwives) that have been taking care of me through this whole pregnancy would be there during delivery. I would have to rely on someone (likely a resident as explained by my doctor) I've never met to deliver my child. I think that's the biggest disappointment of all. I've spent so much time with my doctor and his midwives...they've been there through the ordeal of trying to conceive, through my miscarriage, and finally this pregnancy. I have a large amount of trust and faith in all of them...to know they wouldn't be there makes me so nervous.
So, even though I was dead set on a VBAC there's a huge possibility that I won't even get to try. I went to outpatient medical records on base today and they saw nothing in my records from Guam about the c-section, although they do have my OB chart. I filled out a request for the records to be transferred to Kings Bay from Guam, but it's the Navy and I bet any amount of money I'm going to have to be calling Guam myself before that surgical report is even located. And even if I do get my surgical report, I'm not as sure of this decision anymore because I won't be with my doctor or anyone on his staff. Given that there are certain risks during a VBAC, I would feel a lot more comfortable knowing my doctor would be on standby should something happen during labor. Now I feel like I'm right back at square one, unsure of what I want to do, and super frustrated that the decision might be made for me if I can't track down those surgical notes.
Other than that, I'm just waiting on the results of the glucose test. They also tested my blood count, TSH, and gave me an antibody screen so that I can get my rhogam shot on the 15th. All of those results should be in by Friday, so at least I won't be left hanging. Baby girl is looking good as well, her heartbeat was super strong when we listened today and my BP was great. So hopefully all those results come back normal and I won't have anything else to add to my list of worries.
We're also going to have a 4D ultrasound done in the next couple of weeks. I'd like 4D confirmation Abby is still a girl before we start getting rid of all our boy clothes! I'd also like to see how she looks, if she really has Aidan's nose or not and if she's got any hair. I'm really excited for the ultrasound...with Aidan I was only 23 weeks or so, and there wasn't much chub on him. Hopefully at 28 weeks she'll be a little chunky and her facial features will be really defined.
That's about it for the update. My next appointment is on Feb 29th, and after that I'll start going every 2 weeks. Crazy how the time is flying right by! Seems like she'll be here before I know it!
12 January 2012
Different this time around...
I'm not quite sure if anyone can tell from my brief updates, but this pregnancy is so different than when I had Aidan. I'm not sure if it's because this is shore duty and I'm not stressing over my husband making it back in time. Or maybe it's the lack of testosterone I have in my body. Maybe it's because I know this is our last child. Or perhaps it's different because we've waited so long and tried so hard for this baby. Whatever the reason, I'm loving every minute of this pregnancy. At the risk of inducing some serious eye-rolling from anyone reading, I really am blissfully happy.
It's not that I wasn't happy when I was pregnant with Aidan, I know that I was looking forward to having him. But I think most of it was stress. Being pregnant and going to all the doctor's appointments and ultrasounds alone wasn't what I pictured my first pregnancy to be like. I knew my husband would be gone at some point, but when we decided to try for a baby, we really didn't think we would get pregnant so quick. Not to mention I didn't think he'd be gone for so much of my pregnancy. On top of that, I had pregnancy induced hypertension so I had to pay attention to my blood pressure while my doctors kept a close eye on Aidan's growth and development with frequent ultrasounds. I didn't mind too much because it meant I got to see him more often, even if it was on a black and white screen. I also spotted through most of my pregnancy. Every episode would induce gut wrenching panic, and the first few times it happened I rushed to the ER to make sure my baby was still OK. In the third trimester, that finally stopped, but I found out I had gestational diabetes. I was put on a strict diet and forced to check and record my blood sugar four times per day. And lastly, my husband went out on deployment at the start of my third trimester and wasn't due to come home until my 38 week point. When I started dilating at 36 weeks, there was no trying to relax...I was in a panic worrying I'd be giving birth to my first child half a world away from my family, with my husband MIA. Looking back, it was pretty much just one thing after another, after another.
Besides the stress, I think Aidan's pregnancy was also different because I had no idea what to expect. I knew I was having a baby, and I would love him. But I had no clue how much I would end up loving him. And granted, I was excited, but I didn't have anything specific to look forward to because I'd never been a mom before. Now, it's different. I already love Abby as much as I love Aidan, even though I haven't met her yet. I look forward to the little things that I enjoyed so much with Aidan. The first few days, when they're so tiny, you finally get to experience the things you wondered about for 9 months...the shape of their nose, whether or not they have hair, their tiny baby feet actually being small enough to fit into the socks you thought were impossibly small, and how their crying sounds more like a squeak than anything else. I miss the little yawns and the smiles you only catch when they're sleeping. And I look forward to experiencing the excitement of all the firsts...first smile, first giggle, first steps, and first word. I already know how it felt when we experienced it with Aidan, it makes me even more excited to know I get to do it all over again.
Not only do I already know all of the amazing things I have to look forward to, but this pregnancy has been so easy. Virtually no nausea, no reason to stress, only one episode of spotting that resolved on it's own, and everything with Abby is looking healthy. I have the usual discomforts, like braxton hicks and daily headaches. But even those minor pains can't bring me down, I'm still happy.....really happy and extremely thankful. I absolutely can't wait to meet our little Abigail :)
It's not that I wasn't happy when I was pregnant with Aidan, I know that I was looking forward to having him. But I think most of it was stress. Being pregnant and going to all the doctor's appointments and ultrasounds alone wasn't what I pictured my first pregnancy to be like. I knew my husband would be gone at some point, but when we decided to try for a baby, we really didn't think we would get pregnant so quick. Not to mention I didn't think he'd be gone for so much of my pregnancy. On top of that, I had pregnancy induced hypertension so I had to pay attention to my blood pressure while my doctors kept a close eye on Aidan's growth and development with frequent ultrasounds. I didn't mind too much because it meant I got to see him more often, even if it was on a black and white screen. I also spotted through most of my pregnancy. Every episode would induce gut wrenching panic, and the first few times it happened I rushed to the ER to make sure my baby was still OK. In the third trimester, that finally stopped, but I found out I had gestational diabetes. I was put on a strict diet and forced to check and record my blood sugar four times per day. And lastly, my husband went out on deployment at the start of my third trimester and wasn't due to come home until my 38 week point. When I started dilating at 36 weeks, there was no trying to relax...I was in a panic worrying I'd be giving birth to my first child half a world away from my family, with my husband MIA. Looking back, it was pretty much just one thing after another, after another.
Besides the stress, I think Aidan's pregnancy was also different because I had no idea what to expect. I knew I was having a baby, and I would love him. But I had no clue how much I would end up loving him. And granted, I was excited, but I didn't have anything specific to look forward to because I'd never been a mom before. Now, it's different. I already love Abby as much as I love Aidan, even though I haven't met her yet. I look forward to the little things that I enjoyed so much with Aidan. The first few days, when they're so tiny, you finally get to experience the things you wondered about for 9 months...the shape of their nose, whether or not they have hair, their tiny baby feet actually being small enough to fit into the socks you thought were impossibly small, and how their crying sounds more like a squeak than anything else. I miss the little yawns and the smiles you only catch when they're sleeping. And I look forward to experiencing the excitement of all the firsts...first smile, first giggle, first steps, and first word. I already know how it felt when we experienced it with Aidan, it makes me even more excited to know I get to do it all over again.
Not only do I already know all of the amazing things I have to look forward to, but this pregnancy has been so easy. Virtually no nausea, no reason to stress, only one episode of spotting that resolved on it's own, and everything with Abby is looking healthy. I have the usual discomforts, like braxton hicks and daily headaches. But even those minor pains can't bring me down, I'm still happy.....really happy and extremely thankful. I absolutely can't wait to meet our little Abigail :)
03 January 2012
20 Week Check Up!
I had my 20 week checkup today. First I'd better backtrack because I just realized I never made a blog announcement about the gender of the baby. Most of you (if not all) already know what baby #2 is. But not everyone knows what happened or how it went down, which is an interesting story in my opinion. So I'll share that with you first, and then get down to the appointment.
On December 2, I scheduled an elective ultrasound to find out the baby's gender. I wanted to have one done before Casey left for his two weeks in Virginia (which meant he'd be gone for the growth scan at 20 weeks). My mom flew in that morning, we ate lunch, and killed some time shopping before my appointment at 1:40. Or so I *thought* the appointment was at 1:40. We got to the ultrasound place at 1:40, only to find out that my appointment was scheduled for 1:15 and I was SUPER late. Totally my fault, I don't know why I wrote down 1:40. The problem was she was completely booked and had an appointment for 1:45, so I basically missed my chance. Anyway, she took pity on me (we were all obviously excited for the session) and since I was just getting a 2D gender confirmation scan, she agreed to squeeze me in before her next appointment arrived. So the session, was pretty much rushed.
At first glance, she said she was pretty sure it was a girl. I said no way, I was convinced it was a boy, I was going to need a clear shot to be proven wrong. But baby just kept giving us their backside, so it was difficult to say for sure. She measured the baby, and I was right on track, baby measuring 7 inches long and 5.5 ounces. I saw all the great things you look forward to seeing, like the profile and little hands and feet. We waited for the baby to turn, and sure enough, for a split second we saw two legs with nothing in between. The tech pointed out three lines (which took me FOREVER to see when I played the video my mom took over again) and confirmed we were having a girl! With her next appointment already waiting, we were whisked out of the room (in shock), paid the fee, and left.
It took a while to set in....I was really really really surprised. Casey was completely freaked at the prospect of having to spend money on girl things instead of passing everything down everything Aidan has outgrown. And my mom was over the moon happy. But I was nervous because the shot we had wasn't very clear at all, and I know it's possible for techs to be wrong. Even still, we went ahead and announced what we were having on Facebook, knowing we'd have confirmation at my 20 week growth scan.
Almost two weeks later, I went to my growth scan, completely pretending that I didn't know the gender. Casey, who was in school in VA, was still holding out hope that they'd say "You're having a boy!" and that the penis had just been hidden somewhere in the last ultrasound. Meanwhile, I started to become afraid that they WOULD tell me it was a boy and I'd be so disappointed because I'd become excited about having a little girl. Either way, one of us was going to have to make an adjustment!
So, the growth scan took much longer because she was measuring every little thing. I got to see the heart pumping away, the blood flowing through the cord and the kidneys, little tiny hands again (but that never gets old!)....and then the tech asked, "Do you want to know what you're having?" I said, "Yes please!!!" She froze a shot of the two legs, again void in the middle, and said, "It looks like a girl..." but the baby was yet again in an awkward position. We wanted a clear money shot, so we waited. All of the sudden we were being mooned on the screen and clear as day, you could see we were having a girl! It was official in my mind, there's no place for a little wee wee to be hiding in that picture!! Here's a picture of the shot that sealed the deal:
After seeing that shot, even Casey admitted there was no arguing that one, we were definitely going to have to paint the spare room pink! Needless to say everyone is excited for us. It's been easy to shift my thinking from "he" to "she", and we already call her Abby. She also seems to have her brother's profile (I think they'll look alike), with that cute button nose:
So there it is, we're expecting Abigail Maria-Jane. I'm hoping (and thinking it's possible) I go into labor in late April, so she can have the awesome birthstone of diamond, but we'll see. So far I've been wrong on every aspect when it comes to being pregnant, both times. I swore Aidan was a girl (he is most definitely all boy), I swore I was going to have to be induced after going past my due date (I went into early labor and finally had him at 39 weeks), I swore Abby was going to be a boy...I'm not doing so well on the mommy intuition front.
As far as my check up goes, everything looks great. Abby's HR was in the upper 140s, and my fundal height is right on track. No complaints, other than getting woozy when my braxton hicks come around. But the midwife said it's normal and to make sure I've eaten and keep hydrated. If they come frequently, do the opposite of what I'm already doing (rest if I'm up and moving, get up and move if I'm resting), and to call if I have more than 6 in an hour. My bp is awesome and I gained some weight! I weighed myself the night we got back from Louisiana and saw a 9 lb increase since I had left 2 weeks earlier. But because I lost a few pounds earlier in the pregnancy and again since I got home from Louisiana, I'm only officially up five pounds since the time I got pregnant. It's not much, but it's something! I'm just glad I'm gaining, makes me feel better about Abby's health.
So that is all for now. My next appointment is Feb. 1 and I'll be 26 weeks by then. I can't believe time is flying right by...she'll be here before we know it!!!
On December 2, I scheduled an elective ultrasound to find out the baby's gender. I wanted to have one done before Casey left for his two weeks in Virginia (which meant he'd be gone for the growth scan at 20 weeks). My mom flew in that morning, we ate lunch, and killed some time shopping before my appointment at 1:40. Or so I *thought* the appointment was at 1:40. We got to the ultrasound place at 1:40, only to find out that my appointment was scheduled for 1:15 and I was SUPER late. Totally my fault, I don't know why I wrote down 1:40. The problem was she was completely booked and had an appointment for 1:45, so I basically missed my chance. Anyway, she took pity on me (we were all obviously excited for the session) and since I was just getting a 2D gender confirmation scan, she agreed to squeeze me in before her next appointment arrived. So the session, was pretty much rushed.
At first glance, she said she was pretty sure it was a girl. I said no way, I was convinced it was a boy, I was going to need a clear shot to be proven wrong. But baby just kept giving us their backside, so it was difficult to say for sure. She measured the baby, and I was right on track, baby measuring 7 inches long and 5.5 ounces. I saw all the great things you look forward to seeing, like the profile and little hands and feet. We waited for the baby to turn, and sure enough, for a split second we saw two legs with nothing in between. The tech pointed out three lines (which took me FOREVER to see when I played the video my mom took over again) and confirmed we were having a girl! With her next appointment already waiting, we were whisked out of the room (in shock), paid the fee, and left.
It took a while to set in....I was really really really surprised. Casey was completely freaked at the prospect of having to spend money on girl things instead of passing everything down everything Aidan has outgrown. And my mom was over the moon happy. But I was nervous because the shot we had wasn't very clear at all, and I know it's possible for techs to be wrong. Even still, we went ahead and announced what we were having on Facebook, knowing we'd have confirmation at my 20 week growth scan.
Almost two weeks later, I went to my growth scan, completely pretending that I didn't know the gender. Casey, who was in school in VA, was still holding out hope that they'd say "You're having a boy!" and that the penis had just been hidden somewhere in the last ultrasound. Meanwhile, I started to become afraid that they WOULD tell me it was a boy and I'd be so disappointed because I'd become excited about having a little girl. Either way, one of us was going to have to make an adjustment!
So, the growth scan took much longer because she was measuring every little thing. I got to see the heart pumping away, the blood flowing through the cord and the kidneys, little tiny hands again (but that never gets old!)....and then the tech asked, "Do you want to know what you're having?" I said, "Yes please!!!" She froze a shot of the two legs, again void in the middle, and said, "It looks like a girl..." but the baby was yet again in an awkward position. We wanted a clear money shot, so we waited. All of the sudden we were being mooned on the screen and clear as day, you could see we were having a girl! It was official in my mind, there's no place for a little wee wee to be hiding in that picture!! Here's a picture of the shot that sealed the deal:
After seeing that shot, even Casey admitted there was no arguing that one, we were definitely going to have to paint the spare room pink! Needless to say everyone is excited for us. It's been easy to shift my thinking from "he" to "she", and we already call her Abby. She also seems to have her brother's profile (I think they'll look alike), with that cute button nose:
So there it is, we're expecting Abigail Maria-Jane. I'm hoping (and thinking it's possible) I go into labor in late April, so she can have the awesome birthstone of diamond, but we'll see. So far I've been wrong on every aspect when it comes to being pregnant, both times. I swore Aidan was a girl (he is most definitely all boy), I swore I was going to have to be induced after going past my due date (I went into early labor and finally had him at 39 weeks), I swore Abby was going to be a boy...I'm not doing so well on the mommy intuition front.
As far as my check up goes, everything looks great. Abby's HR was in the upper 140s, and my fundal height is right on track. No complaints, other than getting woozy when my braxton hicks come around. But the midwife said it's normal and to make sure I've eaten and keep hydrated. If they come frequently, do the opposite of what I'm already doing (rest if I'm up and moving, get up and move if I'm resting), and to call if I have more than 6 in an hour. My bp is awesome and I gained some weight! I weighed myself the night we got back from Louisiana and saw a 9 lb increase since I had left 2 weeks earlier. But because I lost a few pounds earlier in the pregnancy and again since I got home from Louisiana, I'm only officially up five pounds since the time I got pregnant. It's not much, but it's something! I'm just glad I'm gaining, makes me feel better about Abby's health.
So that is all for now. My next appointment is Feb. 1 and I'll be 26 weeks by then. I can't believe time is flying right by...she'll be here before we know it!!!
31 December 2011
Goodbye 2011
It's New Year's Eve, and I can't help but remember where we were one year ago. Still fresh from our loss we were looking to start fertility treatments. I was hopeful, thinking January would be it for us. Little did I know that clomid wasn't just an easy answer for us. The first cycle failed, as the dose was not high enough to make me ovulate. We spent the next few months working our way up in 50mg increments, and each failed cycle was like a punch in the gut to me. Although I swore never to take metformin again, desperation made me try a combination of both drugs to try and have a successful cycle. I pretty much spent the entire first half of this year frustrated and depressed that my body was working against me. Then, to find out that on top of PCOS, I also have a thyroid issue....it was enough to make me just want to quit. And I think part of me really did just give up. I took a few months off actively TTCing, putting off clomid treatments until September. I didn't want to take a pill, chart my temp, or pee on another strip...I just wanted to stop thinking about how we kept failing. And I started school again, enrolling in a graduate program, really not believing that I'd be getting pregnant any time soon. I was on a break, and put all of my attention and energy on something not baby related.
I didn't see it coming, but August was literally like a dejavu month for me. I got pregnant in August of 2010, right before I was supposed to start clomid for the very first time. That pregnancy ended in a missed miscarriage. This year, when I found out I was pregnant with another May due date, I was shocked, excited, and slightly nervous. I couldn't help but think about how wrong things had progressed with last year's pregnancy. I anxiously held my breath, crossed my fingers, and prayed until our first OB appointment at 9 weeks. When I saw my little jelly bean on the screen, I was relieved and so incredibly happy. Needless to say, this year did not spiral downward as last year had done.
I know I was unhappy and frustrated during most of 2011. But I can't help but feel like it was all worth it. We're having another baby, and I couldn't be happier. I will always look back and remember this year as the year we really understood what being blessed really is. We not only got pregnant, but without fertility meds. And I was reminded that you might not see the sense in the way things play out, and it's easy to get angry that things aren't happening the way you planned them out. But eventually you realize things fall into place just the way they're supposed to, and you begin to understand why your own plan wasn't the right one. Looking back on everything that's happened at the close of 2010 and during all of 2011, I get it. And regardless of the struggles we went through, 2011 will always be amazing because of our little miracle and being able to say we came full circle.
Tonight, I'm saying goodbye to 2011 at home with my husband, my son, and the little gymnast that's rolling around in my belly. There's no big party, no fancy food, and no one else but us. I'm in my PJ's and my hair is a mess. But sitting here, counting all of my blessings, I'm thinking this is one of the best New Year's Eve I could have ever asked for.
So adios to 2011...it's been a crazy and surprising year. I can't wait to see what 2012 is going to bring our way.
I didn't see it coming, but August was literally like a dejavu month for me. I got pregnant in August of 2010, right before I was supposed to start clomid for the very first time. That pregnancy ended in a missed miscarriage. This year, when I found out I was pregnant with another May due date, I was shocked, excited, and slightly nervous. I couldn't help but think about how wrong things had progressed with last year's pregnancy. I anxiously held my breath, crossed my fingers, and prayed until our first OB appointment at 9 weeks. When I saw my little jelly bean on the screen, I was relieved and so incredibly happy. Needless to say, this year did not spiral downward as last year had done.
I know I was unhappy and frustrated during most of 2011. But I can't help but feel like it was all worth it. We're having another baby, and I couldn't be happier. I will always look back and remember this year as the year we really understood what being blessed really is. We not only got pregnant, but without fertility meds. And I was reminded that you might not see the sense in the way things play out, and it's easy to get angry that things aren't happening the way you planned them out. But eventually you realize things fall into place just the way they're supposed to, and you begin to understand why your own plan wasn't the right one. Looking back on everything that's happened at the close of 2010 and during all of 2011, I get it. And regardless of the struggles we went through, 2011 will always be amazing because of our little miracle and being able to say we came full circle.
Tonight, I'm saying goodbye to 2011 at home with my husband, my son, and the little gymnast that's rolling around in my belly. There's no big party, no fancy food, and no one else but us. I'm in my PJ's and my hair is a mess. But sitting here, counting all of my blessings, I'm thinking this is one of the best New Year's Eve I could have ever asked for.
So adios to 2011...it's been a crazy and surprising year. I can't wait to see what 2012 is going to bring our way.
30 November 2011
16 Week Checkup
I had my 16 week checkup today. I've been feeling really great recently...I think my TSH levels finally evened out over the last few weeks because I haven't been feeling as crappy as I did last month.
I gained a pound, which puts my total weight change to -3 (wooo hooo)! I was really excited to see that I gained SOMETHING, even if it is just one pound...I just feel paranoid that if I lose weight the entire pregnancy the baby won't be healthy. Crazy I know, but it's the worry-wart of a mommy in me!
They did the quadruple screen and checked my TSH levels to make sure they're still below 3. And, I've been feeling strong braxton hicks contractions for the last few weeks, a couple of times per day. I asked him about feeling them so early on, and he said it's normal, that my uterus actually contracts 3-4 times per HOUR! So it's OK to feel it, just as long as it's not accompanied by blood or weird mucus-y discharge.
Also, little bean's HR was 160 INTERESTINGLY....one of my fellow pregnant mommas passed along a fun site to "predict" the baby's gender (http://www.babybpm.com/)and at 12w 6d with a HR of 130, the baby was predicted a boy. But now it's predicting GIRL, based on 16w 6d with a HR of 160! I know it's just an old wives tale and it's about as accurate as the chinese gender calendar (which all told me Aidan was supposed to be a girl). But, this just makes me even more anxious for Friday when we have our gender confirmation scan. I'm so excited, I probably won't be sleeping from here until then!
Anyway, I scheduled the anatomy scan for Dec. 12 at 2pm, and my next checkup is on Jan 3. I'm so glad everything is going well...no PIH and hopefully no diabetes. Now if I could just have a successful VBAC, I think I can file this pregnancy under "AWESOME"! It's really important to me to have an uneventful, healthy pregnancy. I really want to apply to be a surrogate after I have this baby next year, and I think it'll look great if they see I've recently had a healthy pregnancy.
And randomly, off topic, I'm going to a place I never thought I would ever go before: Cloth Diapering! I know, it sounds silly, but I have a severe aversion to dealing with poopy diapers. I couldn't fathom having to spray off a dirty diaper before washing it, not to mention my OCD tendencies would never let me put a completely filthy diaper into my washing machine....it would be forever soiled in my eyes! But I've asked around and I've been schooled on the cloth diapering ways. So I've been doing research to figure out what brands might suit me and how much cheaper it would be....and I think I'm going to try it out. They make these liners that go over the cloth insert, so when you get a dirty diaper, you just flush the liner and wash the insert, which calms my anxiety about having to get my hands and/or washing machine dirty. I might actually like it, especially since I refused to breast feed before I got pregnant with Aidan and then ended up conceding to try it and in the end loving it! And hey, if it saves us from having to buy spend a ton of money on diapers, I'm willing to give it a shot.
So that's my update. My next update will be about the baby's gender, but it won't be until after we tell Casey's family in person, right before Christmas. And in case you missed it, we finally compromised on a girl's name. Aidan actually picked it out, and since Casey hates my top choices and I hate his, we had to go back to the drawing board. I didn't like it at first, but our choice has been growing on me. So, if it's a girl, she will be Abigail Maria-Jane (calling her Abby for short). And it was never a question as to what boy's name we were going to use...we've had this first name picked out since before we started trying for a second! But we did pick out a middle name we liked, so if it is a boy, he will be Jackson James-Cooper (I imagine calling him Jack, JJ, or JCoop for short lol). So hang tight, only a few more weeks until the world will know if we're on team pink or team blue!
I gained a pound, which puts my total weight change to -3 (wooo hooo)! I was really excited to see that I gained SOMETHING, even if it is just one pound...I just feel paranoid that if I lose weight the entire pregnancy the baby won't be healthy. Crazy I know, but it's the worry-wart of a mommy in me!
They did the quadruple screen and checked my TSH levels to make sure they're still below 3. And, I've been feeling strong braxton hicks contractions for the last few weeks, a couple of times per day. I asked him about feeling them so early on, and he said it's normal, that my uterus actually contracts 3-4 times per HOUR! So it's OK to feel it, just as long as it's not accompanied by blood or weird mucus-y discharge.
Also, little bean's HR was 160 INTERESTINGLY....one of my fellow pregnant mommas passed along a fun site to "predict" the baby's gender (http://www.babybpm.com/)and at 12w 6d with a HR of 130, the baby was predicted a boy. But now it's predicting GIRL, based on 16w 6d with a HR of 160! I know it's just an old wives tale and it's about as accurate as the chinese gender calendar (which all told me Aidan was supposed to be a girl). But, this just makes me even more anxious for Friday when we have our gender confirmation scan. I'm so excited, I probably won't be sleeping from here until then!
Anyway, I scheduled the anatomy scan for Dec. 12 at 2pm, and my next checkup is on Jan 3. I'm so glad everything is going well...no PIH and hopefully no diabetes. Now if I could just have a successful VBAC, I think I can file this pregnancy under "AWESOME"! It's really important to me to have an uneventful, healthy pregnancy. I really want to apply to be a surrogate after I have this baby next year, and I think it'll look great if they see I've recently had a healthy pregnancy.
And randomly, off topic, I'm going to a place I never thought I would ever go before: Cloth Diapering! I know, it sounds silly, but I have a severe aversion to dealing with poopy diapers. I couldn't fathom having to spray off a dirty diaper before washing it, not to mention my OCD tendencies would never let me put a completely filthy diaper into my washing machine....it would be forever soiled in my eyes! But I've asked around and I've been schooled on the cloth diapering ways. So I've been doing research to figure out what brands might suit me and how much cheaper it would be....and I think I'm going to try it out. They make these liners that go over the cloth insert, so when you get a dirty diaper, you just flush the liner and wash the insert, which calms my anxiety about having to get my hands and/or washing machine dirty. I might actually like it, especially since I refused to breast feed before I got pregnant with Aidan and then ended up conceding to try it and in the end loving it! And hey, if it saves us from having to buy spend a ton of money on diapers, I'm willing to give it a shot.
So that's my update. My next update will be about the baby's gender, but it won't be until after we tell Casey's family in person, right before Christmas. And in case you missed it, we finally compromised on a girl's name. Aidan actually picked it out, and since Casey hates my top choices and I hate his, we had to go back to the drawing board. I didn't like it at first, but our choice has been growing on me. So, if it's a girl, she will be Abigail Maria-Jane (calling her Abby for short). And it was never a question as to what boy's name we were going to use...we've had this first name picked out since before we started trying for a second! But we did pick out a middle name we liked, so if it is a boy, he will be Jackson James-Cooper (I imagine calling him Jack, JJ, or JCoop for short lol). So hang tight, only a few more weeks until the world will know if we're on team pink or team blue!
16 November 2011
Six years down, forever to go...
My forever didn't start in the traditional way. Usually, there's a dating period, a living together period before getting engaged, the engagement period, and then the long awaited nuptials. The happy couple celebrate with their close friends and families, and set off for a romantic getaway on some secluded resort with picturesque views. It's like a formula, you go from A to B, from B to C, so on and so forth. Every young girl pictures this sequence of events, planning details along the way. I was no different, I knew exactly how it would all go down. Only, I couldn't have been more wrong.
In December of 2003 I met a guy in uniform. No big deal, it wasn't supposed to be a serious thing. I was single for the first time in a long time, and I all I cared about was having fun, not falling in love. Not to mention, all my other friends were dating Navy guys, so why not have a little fling? We never really talked about it but the understanding was, once schooling was over he would move on and so would I. But then...it got complicated. We fell for each other pretty hard. Five months later, when the time came and his orders to Guam showed up, I found that it wasn't as easy as I thought it would be to end it. I really had to think about what I was doing. If we ended it, I would always be wondering about what could have been. But if we tried, I would at least know...even if we failed, I could always take comfort in knowing we gave it a shot. By the time my boyfriend left for Guam and we said our final goodbyes, we had been together for 6 months. Only 6 months, and saying goodbye was the absolute hardest thing I ever had to do, probably because I didn't know if I'd ever see him again. We made it another 6 months of long distance "dating" before it all fell apart. I knew the odds were against us, but even still, I was crushed.
Fast forward to November of 2005. I ran to Louisiana to marry that same guy, a man I hadn't laid eyes on in 15 months. For 8 of those months we weren't dating or even talking. We started our relationship back up over the phone while living on opposite sides of the world. We made plans to get married that same way. I kept it a secret from most of my friends and family, partly because I didn't know (and didn't want to know) what they would say, and partly because I couldn't believe it was real. The night before I left for Louisiana, I was nervous, I don't think I slept at all. I don't even think it had sunk in that I was getting ready to go get married. I took the first 6 am flight out of Rhode Island and flew to where my future husband was waiting. All kinds of things were going on in my head...would he still think I was beautiful? What if he changed? What if he thought I changed? What if I see him and all my feelings disappear?? I was a wreck, I wasn't even sure how my legs were going to carry me off that plane. But somehow, I managed to get off the plane and walk what seemed like a mile from the tarmac to the airport where he was waiting inside. When the doors opened, I saw him standing there so incredibly handsome in his dress blues. My knees got weaker, but I managed to walk up to him. He put his arms around me, burying my head in his chest. I smelled that familiar smell, and I was done. However unconventional, this was right, he was the one for me. Standing in the tiny Alexandria airport with a handful of strangers watching and wondering, I was on the proverbial cloud 9.
The next night he had me get all dressed up and took me to a nice restaurant. He had planned it all out. There was a single table on the patio, under the stars, right in front of the fountain. We sat down, and as I was studying the menu, I looked up to see Casey on one knee next to me, asking me to marry him. He was giving me a little piece of what I had envisioned for myself: a romantic proposal. I will always appreciate that he treated that night as if he were asking me for the first time.
A few days later we were in a courthouse, with no one around but the people that truly mattered, saying our vows for the first time. I giggled through the entire ceremony, still not quite believing it was real. We spent a few more days together as husband and wife, and went our separate ways. Oddly enough, I didn't cry saying goodbye to him that time. I knew I'd be seeing him again. I flew back home, and came clean with my friends and family. People could call me crazy if they wanted, I knew what we had done was right for us.
The first year of marriage was lived out through e-mails, phone calls, and week long visit to see him in Guam. In that first year, we spent a whopping 34 non-consecutive days with each other. No doubt the best 34 days I ever had during that year. It was hard, but it made me realize just how much this marriage meant to me. As I walked down the aisle to meet my already husband when we renewed our vows on October 29, 2006, I did not giggle. The swell of emotions knowing that I was getting ready to leave all my friends and family behind to be with this amazing man was overwhelming. Everything I'd been waiting for was here. I couldn't help but cry as we read the new and personal vows that we wrote to each other. Even though we were already married, it was still perfect.
Things now are not how I pictured my marriage to be when I was younger. I say goodbye to my husband more than I would like. Sometimes I have to be mommy and daddy to our little boy. I have to trust that my husband will come home safe after every deployment and that we will be able to pick up from where we left off. We've missed anniversaries, birthdays, and holidays. There have been times where I hated this life and all the time we missed out on. But I would never change it. We may not have the kind of marriage I pictured, but I love him more than I ever imagined I could. Six years into our forever, and I know there will be rough patches down the road. I know we will have to say goodbye, that we'll spend too much time missing each other, and become frustrated at trying to work around the Navy's schedule. But I look forward to the homecomings, the sweet hellos and first kisses, every holiday spent together, seeing our family grow, and all the nights I'm lucky enough to fall asleep in his arms. I look forward to being loved and to loving him more as the years pass.
As hard it might be sometimes, I love you Casey, and it will always be worth it.
In December of 2003 I met a guy in uniform. No big deal, it wasn't supposed to be a serious thing. I was single for the first time in a long time, and I all I cared about was having fun, not falling in love. Not to mention, all my other friends were dating Navy guys, so why not have a little fling? We never really talked about it but the understanding was, once schooling was over he would move on and so would I. But then...it got complicated. We fell for each other pretty hard. Five months later, when the time came and his orders to Guam showed up, I found that it wasn't as easy as I thought it would be to end it. I really had to think about what I was doing. If we ended it, I would always be wondering about what could have been. But if we tried, I would at least know...even if we failed, I could always take comfort in knowing we gave it a shot. By the time my boyfriend left for Guam and we said our final goodbyes, we had been together for 6 months. Only 6 months, and saying goodbye was the absolute hardest thing I ever had to do, probably because I didn't know if I'd ever see him again. We made it another 6 months of long distance "dating" before it all fell apart. I knew the odds were against us, but even still, I was crushed.
Fast forward to November of 2005. I ran to Louisiana to marry that same guy, a man I hadn't laid eyes on in 15 months. For 8 of those months we weren't dating or even talking. We started our relationship back up over the phone while living on opposite sides of the world. We made plans to get married that same way. I kept it a secret from most of my friends and family, partly because I didn't know (and didn't want to know) what they would say, and partly because I couldn't believe it was real. The night before I left for Louisiana, I was nervous, I don't think I slept at all. I don't even think it had sunk in that I was getting ready to go get married. I took the first 6 am flight out of Rhode Island and flew to where my future husband was waiting. All kinds of things were going on in my head...would he still think I was beautiful? What if he changed? What if he thought I changed? What if I see him and all my feelings disappear?? I was a wreck, I wasn't even sure how my legs were going to carry me off that plane. But somehow, I managed to get off the plane and walk what seemed like a mile from the tarmac to the airport where he was waiting inside. When the doors opened, I saw him standing there so incredibly handsome in his dress blues. My knees got weaker, but I managed to walk up to him. He put his arms around me, burying my head in his chest. I smelled that familiar smell, and I was done. However unconventional, this was right, he was the one for me. Standing in the tiny Alexandria airport with a handful of strangers watching and wondering, I was on the proverbial cloud 9.
The next night he had me get all dressed up and took me to a nice restaurant. He had planned it all out. There was a single table on the patio, under the stars, right in front of the fountain. We sat down, and as I was studying the menu, I looked up to see Casey on one knee next to me, asking me to marry him. He was giving me a little piece of what I had envisioned for myself: a romantic proposal. I will always appreciate that he treated that night as if he were asking me for the first time.
A few days later we were in a courthouse, with no one around but the people that truly mattered, saying our vows for the first time. I giggled through the entire ceremony, still not quite believing it was real. We spent a few more days together as husband and wife, and went our separate ways. Oddly enough, I didn't cry saying goodbye to him that time. I knew I'd be seeing him again. I flew back home, and came clean with my friends and family. People could call me crazy if they wanted, I knew what we had done was right for us.
The first year of marriage was lived out through e-mails, phone calls, and week long visit to see him in Guam. In that first year, we spent a whopping 34 non-consecutive days with each other. No doubt the best 34 days I ever had during that year. It was hard, but it made me realize just how much this marriage meant to me. As I walked down the aisle to meet my already husband when we renewed our vows on October 29, 2006, I did not giggle. The swell of emotions knowing that I was getting ready to leave all my friends and family behind to be with this amazing man was overwhelming. Everything I'd been waiting for was here. I couldn't help but cry as we read the new and personal vows that we wrote to each other. Even though we were already married, it was still perfect.
Things now are not how I pictured my marriage to be when I was younger. I say goodbye to my husband more than I would like. Sometimes I have to be mommy and daddy to our little boy. I have to trust that my husband will come home safe after every deployment and that we will be able to pick up from where we left off. We've missed anniversaries, birthdays, and holidays. There have been times where I hated this life and all the time we missed out on. But I would never change it. We may not have the kind of marriage I pictured, but I love him more than I ever imagined I could. Six years into our forever, and I know there will be rough patches down the road. I know we will have to say goodbye, that we'll spend too much time missing each other, and become frustrated at trying to work around the Navy's schedule. But I look forward to the homecomings, the sweet hellos and first kisses, every holiday spent together, seeing our family grow, and all the nights I'm lucky enough to fall asleep in his arms. I look forward to being loved and to loving him more as the years pass.
As hard it might be sometimes, I love you Casey, and it will always be worth it.
02 November 2011
Helllloooooo Second Trimester!
Tomorrow I turn 13 weeks, which means I'm knocking on the door to my second trimester! I'm so happy to have made it this far...I can rest a bit easier since chances of m/c drop significantly after 13 weeks.
I had my 4 week checkup today. I didn't see my regular doctor, but a student who is working with the doctor and midwife at the practice. She was very nice so I didn't mind seeing her at all. I gave her my list of complaints, reasons why I thought my synthroid wasn't working as well, and asked about fioricet. She said that because I have a history of migraines, it would be a good idea to see a neurologist because having a headache every day is not just because of the pregnancy. So I'll have to go back to my primary physician to get that referral put in. And they said it was too early to test my thyroid again because 4 weeks ago it was 2.6 (YAY!). However, because of my complaints they'll be checking the levels again in 4 weeks just to make sure I'm still good.
Otherwise, everything looks OK...BP was a bit high 136/80, but then again I've been battling a headache for the better part of 2 weeks so I wasn't surprised. Baby's HR was in the 130s and she found it right in the spot where I've been feeling all the flutters. I lost 4 lbs...no clue how I lost weight since I've been great in giving into my insane cravings (i.e. downing two kickin coney hotdogs from sonic like it's my job lol). I think a lot of it has to do with my loss of appetite...by the time dinner comes, I literally have to force myself to eat (one of the reasons I thought my synthroid needed to be increased). They're also weaning me off metformin, so that's one less pill I have to worry about every day! My next appointment is November 30. I will also be making an appointment at the 3D sonogram place for December 2 to find out the gender of the baby. Casey won't be here for my 20 week growth scan, and I really wanted him to be with me when we found out boy or girl. So, one month from today, we'll be doing a short 2D ultrasound package to find out if the baby is Jackson or if we will be fighting about girl names from here straight until May.
Also, I think I did come to the decision about how I'll be giving birth. The hospital policy here is to perform a c-section rather than push for a VBAC. However, my doctor's office said that if I want a VBAC, they would send me out for a VBAC consult around my 28 week mark. If that comes back OK, then I would just come to the local hospital, and tell them that I refuse a c-section. She said that there are risks, and they will make me sign forms acknowledging those risks, but I have the right to refuse a c-section. SO, if I want a VBAC, I can still use this local hospital (which is so convenient because it's literally 5 minutes from my house). I know I swore when I witnessed Paxton's birth I'd never do it, but a big part of me is saying not to worry about the pain it'll be easier to recover from. I remember then massaging my uterus after my c-section with Aidan because they thought I was hemorrhaging, and there's probably nothing more painful than that (I almost passed out from the pain). I know this means we'll be waiting around for me to go into labor, but I really think that's the route I'm going to take. I'm less nervous about doing it that way, than opting for a spinal block and letting them cut me open while I lay there worrying that the feeling is going to return and I'll feel them sewing me up.
That's about it. I was very happy to hear baby's heart beat because I can't always find it with my doppler at home. But she found it right where I usually do, and where I've been feeling all my little flutters. I can't wait for December 2 so I can finally start saying he or she. But if November goes by anywhere near as fast as October did, it'll be here before I know it!
I had my 4 week checkup today. I didn't see my regular doctor, but a student who is working with the doctor and midwife at the practice. She was very nice so I didn't mind seeing her at all. I gave her my list of complaints, reasons why I thought my synthroid wasn't working as well, and asked about fioricet. She said that because I have a history of migraines, it would be a good idea to see a neurologist because having a headache every day is not just because of the pregnancy. So I'll have to go back to my primary physician to get that referral put in. And they said it was too early to test my thyroid again because 4 weeks ago it was 2.6 (YAY!). However, because of my complaints they'll be checking the levels again in 4 weeks just to make sure I'm still good.
Otherwise, everything looks OK...BP was a bit high 136/80, but then again I've been battling a headache for the better part of 2 weeks so I wasn't surprised. Baby's HR was in the 130s and she found it right in the spot where I've been feeling all the flutters. I lost 4 lbs...no clue how I lost weight since I've been great in giving into my insane cravings (i.e. downing two kickin coney hotdogs from sonic like it's my job lol). I think a lot of it has to do with my loss of appetite...by the time dinner comes, I literally have to force myself to eat (one of the reasons I thought my synthroid needed to be increased). They're also weaning me off metformin, so that's one less pill I have to worry about every day! My next appointment is November 30. I will also be making an appointment at the 3D sonogram place for December 2 to find out the gender of the baby. Casey won't be here for my 20 week growth scan, and I really wanted him to be with me when we found out boy or girl. So, one month from today, we'll be doing a short 2D ultrasound package to find out if the baby is Jackson or if we will be fighting about girl names from here straight until May.
Also, I think I did come to the decision about how I'll be giving birth. The hospital policy here is to perform a c-section rather than push for a VBAC. However, my doctor's office said that if I want a VBAC, they would send me out for a VBAC consult around my 28 week mark. If that comes back OK, then I would just come to the local hospital, and tell them that I refuse a c-section. She said that there are risks, and they will make me sign forms acknowledging those risks, but I have the right to refuse a c-section. SO, if I want a VBAC, I can still use this local hospital (which is so convenient because it's literally 5 minutes from my house). I know I swore when I witnessed Paxton's birth I'd never do it, but a big part of me is saying not to worry about the pain it'll be easier to recover from. I remember then massaging my uterus after my c-section with Aidan because they thought I was hemorrhaging, and there's probably nothing more painful than that (I almost passed out from the pain). I know this means we'll be waiting around for me to go into labor, but I really think that's the route I'm going to take. I'm less nervous about doing it that way, than opting for a spinal block and letting them cut me open while I lay there worrying that the feeling is going to return and I'll feel them sewing me up.
That's about it. I was very happy to hear baby's heart beat because I can't always find it with my doppler at home. But she found it right where I usually do, and where I've been feeling all my little flutters. I can't wait for December 2 so I can finally start saying he or she. But if November goes by anywhere near as fast as October did, it'll be here before I know it!
15 October 2011
Trip to the ER
***Warning, this may be TMI***
Well, we've had our first official scare with this pregnancy. Earlier today, I went to the bathroom, and noticed the toilet water had turned red. It stayed bright red with about three wipes, and then turned brown. I spotted frequently with Aidan, but this was unlike anything I ever experienced with him. First, it was just bright red blood, and there was so much. Then when it turned brown, all I could think of was what happened last year's miscarriage (I spotted brown). I'd been having minor cramps on and off the last couple of days, so I was really starting to freak out. I walked into the living room, trying to find the words to tell my husband what was happening and I couldn't. Luckily for me, he knows me so well, he knew just by looking at my face. We called my OB's answering service and I told him what happened and he told me to go to the ER. At this point I'm crying because I can't think anything but worst case scenario. Aidan, concerned that I was crying, held my face and said, "Mommy please don't cry, everything will be alright, I promise." No words for how much that melted my heart. After I calmed myself down enough to change clothes, we dropped Aidan off at a friend's house, and sped our way to the ER.
Once we got there, everyone was so nice. We were taken right away, thankfully. They explained they would take some blood to check out my hCG levels and give me an ultrasound. The doctor came in and took notes on what I was experiencing and told me that we would have to wait a bit for them to call someone in to do an ultrasound (apparently they don't work on weekends). After about an hour, a woman came to take me to do an ultrasound. They wouldn't let Casey come with me, which was hard on both of us. We were both so worried, and he was pretty much keeping me together. If I was going to get bad news, I would need him with me. But hospital policy outranked my wants, so off I went by myself.
The tech tried an abdominal scan first, and she was able to see there was a baby right away. She said she had a lot of measurements to take, but that there was a baby (she showed me on the screen) and there was a heartbeat (THANK GOD!). After that wave of relief I watched as she measured everything she could possibly measure. She measured the sac and the baby last, and they came back at 9 weeks 6 days, which is still within range of my 10 week 2 day GA based on my LMP. She measured the heart rate and it was 169, which is also good. She gave me two pictures of my little one to bring to Casey because she knew he was upset he couldn't witness the ultrasound:
In the top picture you can see the head at the right, and make out the eyes. In the picture on the bottom you see more of the whole baby with a head, belly, and four spots where his/her hands and feet are. It was such a relief to see my baby was doing OK. After the ultrasound, we waited another hour for the radiologist to give the go ahead to release me.
They have no idea where the bleeding is coming from. They released me with a diagnosis of a threatened miscarriage. It doesn't mean I'm definitely going to, and just because the baby looked OK, doesn't mean I'm not going to in the near future. So they told me to go home, rest, avoid any heavy lifting or strenuous exercise. My OB called while I was there and he was told everything that's going on. My hCG came back at 95,000 and that seems to be a good number for 10 weeks. I will probably have another draw on Monday or Tuesday, depending on what my Dr. wants to do. I feel a little better having seen the baby, but I'm still concerned about not knowing where the blood came from. It's not completely gone, but it has tapered off to just a brown spotting. Hopefully it just completely disappears. For now I'm just going to try and relax, and pray that I get some answers when I see my doctor. But I ask that everyone please keep baby bean in their thoughts and prayers. Hopefully this will be the only scare I have this time around.
Well, we've had our first official scare with this pregnancy. Earlier today, I went to the bathroom, and noticed the toilet water had turned red. It stayed bright red with about three wipes, and then turned brown. I spotted frequently with Aidan, but this was unlike anything I ever experienced with him. First, it was just bright red blood, and there was so much. Then when it turned brown, all I could think of was what happened last year's miscarriage (I spotted brown). I'd been having minor cramps on and off the last couple of days, so I was really starting to freak out. I walked into the living room, trying to find the words to tell my husband what was happening and I couldn't. Luckily for me, he knows me so well, he knew just by looking at my face. We called my OB's answering service and I told him what happened and he told me to go to the ER. At this point I'm crying because I can't think anything but worst case scenario. Aidan, concerned that I was crying, held my face and said, "Mommy please don't cry, everything will be alright, I promise." No words for how much that melted my heart. After I calmed myself down enough to change clothes, we dropped Aidan off at a friend's house, and sped our way to the ER.
Once we got there, everyone was so nice. We were taken right away, thankfully. They explained they would take some blood to check out my hCG levels and give me an ultrasound. The doctor came in and took notes on what I was experiencing and told me that we would have to wait a bit for them to call someone in to do an ultrasound (apparently they don't work on weekends). After about an hour, a woman came to take me to do an ultrasound. They wouldn't let Casey come with me, which was hard on both of us. We were both so worried, and he was pretty much keeping me together. If I was going to get bad news, I would need him with me. But hospital policy outranked my wants, so off I went by myself.
The tech tried an abdominal scan first, and she was able to see there was a baby right away. She said she had a lot of measurements to take, but that there was a baby (she showed me on the screen) and there was a heartbeat (THANK GOD!). After that wave of relief I watched as she measured everything she could possibly measure. She measured the sac and the baby last, and they came back at 9 weeks 6 days, which is still within range of my 10 week 2 day GA based on my LMP. She measured the heart rate and it was 169, which is also good. She gave me two pictures of my little one to bring to Casey because she knew he was upset he couldn't witness the ultrasound:
In the top picture you can see the head at the right, and make out the eyes. In the picture on the bottom you see more of the whole baby with a head, belly, and four spots where his/her hands and feet are. It was such a relief to see my baby was doing OK. After the ultrasound, we waited another hour for the radiologist to give the go ahead to release me.
They have no idea where the bleeding is coming from. They released me with a diagnosis of a threatened miscarriage. It doesn't mean I'm definitely going to, and just because the baby looked OK, doesn't mean I'm not going to in the near future. So they told me to go home, rest, avoid any heavy lifting or strenuous exercise. My OB called while I was there and he was told everything that's going on. My hCG came back at 95,000 and that seems to be a good number for 10 weeks. I will probably have another draw on Monday or Tuesday, depending on what my Dr. wants to do. I feel a little better having seen the baby, but I'm still concerned about not knowing where the blood came from. It's not completely gone, but it has tapered off to just a brown spotting. Hopefully it just completely disappears. For now I'm just going to try and relax, and pray that I get some answers when I see my doctor. But I ask that everyone please keep baby bean in their thoughts and prayers. Hopefully this will be the only scare I have this time around.
08 October 2011
9 Weeks!
I avoided writing any blog posts until after our first prenatal appointment. Not that anyone was missing much, since this pregnancy is already going much more smoothly than Aidan's did. My nausea is minimal, as opposed to all day, every day like I had with Aidan. I'm tired, but nothing I can't manage with a nap here and there. And the girls have grown to what I feel are massive proportions, which may be attractive to my husband, but it's just downright painful to me. Those are pretty much the only symptoms I have, so a tiny piece of me was worried that our appointment would not go as we were hoping.
But, good news, our appointment was wonderful! I was extremely nervous...it was like dejavu because this time last year I went to my first prenatal appointment and received bad news. Even the nurse who was taking my bp remarked on how fast my heart was going (sidenote: despite my nervousness, my BP was a phenomenal 110/70, so it looks like no PIH this time around!). My husband, however, happened to be extremely confident in the fact that I was still pregnant. He said, "Do you want me to prove to you that you are still pregnant? Let's go get pizza...buffalo chicken pizza..." On a normal non-pregnant day, I'd be all over it. For some reason though, this baby does not do pizza, not even of the buffalo chicken variety! Needless to say the suggestion turned my stomach and I got nauseous thinking about it. Even still, I was grateful he was able to put my mind at ease, if only for a few minutes.
Enter the doctor. He congratulated me on producing an egg all by myself (yay!). We went over what medications I'm still taking, and my past history. He did the physical exam and the whole nine yards, and then it was time for the ultrasound. I anxiously keep my eyes on the screen, and as soon as the wand was inserted, I could see a big black void with a blob. He readjusted the wand and there it was, my little jelly bean! He adjusted again and I could see his/her tiny heart flickering nice and fast. Here is a picture of my little bean:
Relief is not the word to describe that moment...more like complete and utter joy. I teared up a bit, thanking God that my little bean was doing great. After that I was on a high for the rest of the day. I think I called everyone I could think of to tell them we have a heartbeat! And amazingly, I am keeping my original due date of May 10th, because at 8w 6d, the actual baby was measuring 9 weeks even. I was worried that my irregular cycles would mean I'd have to push my due date back because I rarely if ever ovulate on CD 14. But luckily for me, I keep my due date and only have 3 more weeks left in my first trimester.
So everything went really well. I'm staying on the metformin until my next appointment on November 2, at which point they will start to wean me off. And I will be taking the synthroid throughout the entire pregnancy, which is good. Other than that I just need to relax, and try to curb my cravings for junk food. This baby LOVES potato skins! Until next time, here's a picture of the 9 week pudge. I wasn't this big with Aidan until about 13 weeks, but I guess that's what a healthy appetite and lack of nausea will do for you!
But, good news, our appointment was wonderful! I was extremely nervous...it was like dejavu because this time last year I went to my first prenatal appointment and received bad news. Even the nurse who was taking my bp remarked on how fast my heart was going (sidenote: despite my nervousness, my BP was a phenomenal 110/70, so it looks like no PIH this time around!). My husband, however, happened to be extremely confident in the fact that I was still pregnant. He said, "Do you want me to prove to you that you are still pregnant? Let's go get pizza...buffalo chicken pizza..." On a normal non-pregnant day, I'd be all over it. For some reason though, this baby does not do pizza, not even of the buffalo chicken variety! Needless to say the suggestion turned my stomach and I got nauseous thinking about it. Even still, I was grateful he was able to put my mind at ease, if only for a few minutes.
Enter the doctor. He congratulated me on producing an egg all by myself (yay!). We went over what medications I'm still taking, and my past history. He did the physical exam and the whole nine yards, and then it was time for the ultrasound. I anxiously keep my eyes on the screen, and as soon as the wand was inserted, I could see a big black void with a blob. He readjusted the wand and there it was, my little jelly bean! He adjusted again and I could see his/her tiny heart flickering nice and fast. Here is a picture of my little bean:
Relief is not the word to describe that moment...more like complete and utter joy. I teared up a bit, thanking God that my little bean was doing great. After that I was on a high for the rest of the day. I think I called everyone I could think of to tell them we have a heartbeat! And amazingly, I am keeping my original due date of May 10th, because at 8w 6d, the actual baby was measuring 9 weeks even. I was worried that my irregular cycles would mean I'd have to push my due date back because I rarely if ever ovulate on CD 14. But luckily for me, I keep my due date and only have 3 more weeks left in my first trimester.
So everything went really well. I'm staying on the metformin until my next appointment on November 2, at which point they will start to wean me off. And I will be taking the synthroid throughout the entire pregnancy, which is good. Other than that I just need to relax, and try to curb my cravings for junk food. This baby LOVES potato skins! Until next time, here's a picture of the 9 week pudge. I wasn't this big with Aidan until about 13 weeks, but I guess that's what a healthy appetite and lack of nausea will do for you!
08 September 2011
So far so good!
Well...I've been feeling pretty great! I'm still not sure how far along I am, but for now I'm going with the due date my OB's office gave me, which is May 10th. My first doctor's appointment is October 5th at 10:30 am, and they'll do an ultrasound to confirm a heartbeat. I'm trying not to think about it. There's a teeny part of me that's still a little scared, but for the most part I'm doing a good job of just staying relaxed.
Symptom-wise, I feel pretty good most days. There are days where I have no nausea at all and some where I'm nauseous on and off, days where I'm exhausted all day long and days where I'm fine. I've read it's normal to switch out symptoms this early on, so I'm trying not to stress out on the mornings I wake up and there's no nausea. And as much as I hate being nauseous and tires, I think I would be relieved to have consistent symptoms. I've also had some crampiness going on, but nothing severe. Every time I feel it, I just think "Grow baby, grow!"
I've been trying to talk to Aidan about it, but I don't think he quite understands. I ask him if he wants a brother or a sister and he tells me he wants both. Boy will he be disappointed! I think once I develop a baby bump, he might clue into what's going on. He saw Star's belly grow and he knows that's where Paxton came from, so we'll see if he makes the connection. I think he will be an excellent big brother. He does such a good job, using his imagination to play all on his own. But I see how he lights up when other kids come around and I can't wait for him to have a sibling.
So there's my update for now. Keep rainbow baby in your thoughts and prayers, and hopefully I will have fantastic news come October 5th!
Symptom-wise, I feel pretty good most days. There are days where I have no nausea at all and some where I'm nauseous on and off, days where I'm exhausted all day long and days where I'm fine. I've read it's normal to switch out symptoms this early on, so I'm trying not to stress out on the mornings I wake up and there's no nausea. And as much as I hate being nauseous and tires, I think I would be relieved to have consistent symptoms. I've also had some crampiness going on, but nothing severe. Every time I feel it, I just think "Grow baby, grow!"
I've been trying to talk to Aidan about it, but I don't think he quite understands. I ask him if he wants a brother or a sister and he tells me he wants both. Boy will he be disappointed! I think once I develop a baby bump, he might clue into what's going on. He saw Star's belly grow and he knows that's where Paxton came from, so we'll see if he makes the connection. I think he will be an excellent big brother. He does such a good job, using his imagination to play all on his own. But I see how he lights up when other kids come around and I can't wait for him to have a sibling.
So there's my update for now. Keep rainbow baby in your thoughts and prayers, and hopefully I will have fantastic news come October 5th!
31 August 2011
Can't believe this is real!
First, I would like to give a huge THANK YOU to everyone for giving us their congrats and well wishes!!
As you probably know, Aidan is going to be a big brother....we finally got our little rainbow baby! I'm not sure of the due date because we were actually on a two month TTC break. The plan was to stay on metformin until I had a cycle sometime in September, then get off of it and start clomid again. So at no point in time during these last two months did I chart my temps or use an OPK to detect ovulation. I had actually decided that it was important we not resume TTC this month because we needed to figure out what was going on with my thyroid.
Anyway, admittedly, I took two tests before. One yesterday and one the day before. I don't know why, but something was just telling me to test. I waited just long enough for the test line to appear, and when I saw there was no second line, I tossed them in the trash. Well this morning, I decided to use a more sensitive test. At first no lines appeared in the little window. Slowly the control line faded in and when it was almost fully pink, I saw a hint of a second line. I waited and waited and waited and grabbed my camera to take a pic just in case I was going crazy.
Then I called Casey. No answer. So I called my sister to geek out...I couldn't hold it in! Casey finally called me back and he was shocked. Like I said...we were on a break! He asked me if I was sure sure it was positive. Even though I told him yes, I couldn't help but pee on two more sticks, just to make sure....
So, there you have it. Sometime late April or early May we'll be adding to the family. I'm shocked, thrilled, excited and I'm not quite sure if it's set in yet. We've spent three years trying to make this happen, and I'm praying that this time goes much differently than last year.
As for my meds...I started the synthroid about a week ago and I feel great! Aside from the sore boobs, queasiness when my belly gets empty, and the fatigue, I feel...different. I think my moods have evened themselves out and I just have a general well-being feeling going on, whereas before I generally just felt crappy. It's safe to take during pregnancy, so I'm going to keep taking the synthroid as long as I feel like it's helping me.
Thank you all for your excitement and enthusiasm...I don't know what I would do without my fantastic support system of family and friends!
As you probably know, Aidan is going to be a big brother....we finally got our little rainbow baby! I'm not sure of the due date because we were actually on a two month TTC break. The plan was to stay on metformin until I had a cycle sometime in September, then get off of it and start clomid again. So at no point in time during these last two months did I chart my temps or use an OPK to detect ovulation. I had actually decided that it was important we not resume TTC this month because we needed to figure out what was going on with my thyroid.
Anyway, admittedly, I took two tests before. One yesterday and one the day before. I don't know why, but something was just telling me to test. I waited just long enough for the test line to appear, and when I saw there was no second line, I tossed them in the trash. Well this morning, I decided to use a more sensitive test. At first no lines appeared in the little window. Slowly the control line faded in and when it was almost fully pink, I saw a hint of a second line. I waited and waited and waited and grabbed my camera to take a pic just in case I was going crazy.
Then I called Casey. No answer. So I called my sister to geek out...I couldn't hold it in! Casey finally called me back and he was shocked. Like I said...we were on a break! He asked me if I was sure sure it was positive. Even though I told him yes, I couldn't help but pee on two more sticks, just to make sure....
So, there you have it. Sometime late April or early May we'll be adding to the family. I'm shocked, thrilled, excited and I'm not quite sure if it's set in yet. We've spent three years trying to make this happen, and I'm praying that this time goes much differently than last year.
As for my meds...I started the synthroid about a week ago and I feel great! Aside from the sore boobs, queasiness when my belly gets empty, and the fatigue, I feel...different. I think my moods have evened themselves out and I just have a general well-being feeling going on, whereas before I generally just felt crappy. It's safe to take during pregnancy, so I'm going to keep taking the synthroid as long as I feel like it's helping me.
Thank you all for your excitement and enthusiasm...I don't know what I would do without my fantastic support system of family and friends!
26 August 2011
Still no definitive answers...
I finally got a hold of my doctor today. I ended up going for my third blood draw in three weeks to check my thyroid levels and I was anxious to find out how they came back. She shocked me by saying they were "normal". She told me they came back at 5.60 which is lower than the 6.52 they were the first time. I told her that my OB went ahead and did his own labs, and he told me that the week in between those readings, my TSH was at 4.88 and he also considered them "normal". So let's recap: week one my levels were 6.52, week two they were 4.88, and week three they were back up to 5.60??? OK, I'm not a doctor, and I knew my readings were probably not all going to be the same number, but those three readings seem screwy to me. And the odds of having one fluke test I'll consider, but three flukes?? Nope I'm not buying that one.
Anyway, she then said she wanted to keep checking the levels periodically to see if something might be up, but I just cut her off. I told her I'd been reading up on hypothyroidism, and not only do I have a lot of the symptoms, but most of them are symptoms that I had no clue were something worthy of even complaining about (I'm not going to make a doctor's appointment for dry skin and changes in my hair!). I told her it's not like I can't live my life, but the majority of these things are annoying and I'm unhappy. I feel like crap all the time, I'm tired, I'm depressed, I feel gross with the way my body has changed, and I'm just frustrated with being told there's nothing wrong. I told her I want to start the synthroid just to see if it might help alleviate the symptoms. She said there was no harm in trying it, so she put in a scrip at the pharmacy for me. She also asked me to start keeping a log of how I'm feeling off the meds and continue it when I'm on them.
Now here's the kicker: She's PCSing come the second week in September (for you non-military folk, it means she's headed to her next duty station and won't be my doctor anymore). She admitted that there are a lot of doctors at the clinic who would strongly disagree with what she's doing, and told me point blank not to go back to my previous doctor because he will take me off the meds. She said that given my complaints and everything I've talked to her about, she really does think it's worth looking into and gave me the names of two other doctors at the clinic that share her view when it comes to thyroid problems. I'm bummed that she won't be able to follow through with me, but I'm grateful that she gave me the heads up and referred me to a couple of doctors who would actually try to figure this thing out.
So there it is. Nothing concrete, no for sure answers or solutions to my problem. But at least I have the chance to find out if this new medicine will make me feel normal. She told me to see my new doctor in one month (or sooner if I'm not feeling right) to discuss what may have changed and to have my levels taken again. So fingers crossed there are major changes between now and then.
Anyway, she then said she wanted to keep checking the levels periodically to see if something might be up, but I just cut her off. I told her I'd been reading up on hypothyroidism, and not only do I have a lot of the symptoms, but most of them are symptoms that I had no clue were something worthy of even complaining about (I'm not going to make a doctor's appointment for dry skin and changes in my hair!). I told her it's not like I can't live my life, but the majority of these things are annoying and I'm unhappy. I feel like crap all the time, I'm tired, I'm depressed, I feel gross with the way my body has changed, and I'm just frustrated with being told there's nothing wrong. I told her I want to start the synthroid just to see if it might help alleviate the symptoms. She said there was no harm in trying it, so she put in a scrip at the pharmacy for me. She also asked me to start keeping a log of how I'm feeling off the meds and continue it when I'm on them.
Now here's the kicker: She's PCSing come the second week in September (for you non-military folk, it means she's headed to her next duty station and won't be my doctor anymore). She admitted that there are a lot of doctors at the clinic who would strongly disagree with what she's doing, and told me point blank not to go back to my previous doctor because he will take me off the meds. She said that given my complaints and everything I've talked to her about, she really does think it's worth looking into and gave me the names of two other doctors at the clinic that share her view when it comes to thyroid problems. I'm bummed that she won't be able to follow through with me, but I'm grateful that she gave me the heads up and referred me to a couple of doctors who would actually try to figure this thing out.
So there it is. Nothing concrete, no for sure answers or solutions to my problem. But at least I have the chance to find out if this new medicine will make me feel normal. She told me to see my new doctor in one month (or sooner if I'm not feeling right) to discuss what may have changed and to have my levels taken again. So fingers crossed there are major changes between now and then.
12 August 2011
Decisions, decisions...
So...my OB called to give me the results of my labs. My A1C came back at 5.2, which I am more than thrilled about. But, my TSH came back at 4.88 which according to my doctor is within the normal range and does not need to be treated.
Now I'm slightly confused. My normal doctor feels that those levels are too high, but my OB disagrees. My normal doctor wants to treat hypothyroidism, and my OB seems to think I'm not. I have another blood draw on the 17th for my normal doctor. If it comes back within that 4.88 range, I know she's going to confirm the subclinical hypothyroidism diagnosis and want to start me on meds. But then what do I tell my OB?? I feel so awkward listening to one doctor and not the other.
My problem is that I have these symptoms that seem to fit hypothyroidism, and they make me miserable. As hard as it was for me to digest the fact that I may have hypothyroidism, after talking to Casey, I realized all the things I've been suffering from *might* be alleviated if I started on thyroid medication. So now, to hear that one of the doctors I trust feels I don't need it...I feel almost disappointed that I have no sure-fire solution on how to make me feel better.
I've tried researching what normal TSH levels are, and every article gives a different range. One article in particular say that some doctors say .3 to 5.0 is normal, while other feel .3 to 3.0 is normal. When I spoke to my regular doctor, she told me that someone like Dr. Conrad (my previous doctor) is more old school than she considers herself to be, and that doctors like him would probably not want to treat it. That being said, she definitely thinks a minimal dose could help alleviate my symptoms.
I hate being put in this position...I'm not a doctor, but I'm going to have to end up choosing which doctor's advice to follow. No matter what I do, I have to keep both doctors in the loop, and I don't want to feel like I have to defend my decision (which is what I know will end up happening once one of my doctors question why I am or am not taking meds).
If I had to be honest, right now my thinking is, I have all these symptoms that are making me miserable and I want to at least try the meds and see if they'll help. And now that I know what hypothyroidism can affect the development of a baby, I'm paranoid that if I get pregnant and don't take meds to regulate my thyroid, I'll be harming my baby. I don't want to have to argue with my OB (he's great and I don't want to switch doctors), but I really feel like something is wrong and I have to fix it. I will talk to my regular doctor and explain to her what my OB wants to do, talk about my symptoms and concerns, and go from there. But I'm pretty sure, if the TSH levels from the blood draw on the 17th come back elevated, I'll be trying the thyroid medication just to see if it'll change how I physically feel. I would just be so much more comfortable with this decision if BOTH of my doctors were in agreement. ::sigh::
Now I'm slightly confused. My normal doctor feels that those levels are too high, but my OB disagrees. My normal doctor wants to treat hypothyroidism, and my OB seems to think I'm not. I have another blood draw on the 17th for my normal doctor. If it comes back within that 4.88 range, I know she's going to confirm the subclinical hypothyroidism diagnosis and want to start me on meds. But then what do I tell my OB?? I feel so awkward listening to one doctor and not the other.
My problem is that I have these symptoms that seem to fit hypothyroidism, and they make me miserable. As hard as it was for me to digest the fact that I may have hypothyroidism, after talking to Casey, I realized all the things I've been suffering from *might* be alleviated if I started on thyroid medication. So now, to hear that one of the doctors I trust feels I don't need it...I feel almost disappointed that I have no sure-fire solution on how to make me feel better.
I've tried researching what normal TSH levels are, and every article gives a different range. One article in particular say that some doctors say .3 to 5.0 is normal, while other feel .3 to 3.0 is normal. When I spoke to my regular doctor, she told me that someone like Dr. Conrad (my previous doctor) is more old school than she considers herself to be, and that doctors like him would probably not want to treat it. That being said, she definitely thinks a minimal dose could help alleviate my symptoms.
I hate being put in this position...I'm not a doctor, but I'm going to have to end up choosing which doctor's advice to follow. No matter what I do, I have to keep both doctors in the loop, and I don't want to feel like I have to defend my decision (which is what I know will end up happening once one of my doctors question why I am or am not taking meds).
If I had to be honest, right now my thinking is, I have all these symptoms that are making me miserable and I want to at least try the meds and see if they'll help. And now that I know what hypothyroidism can affect the development of a baby, I'm paranoid that if I get pregnant and don't take meds to regulate my thyroid, I'll be harming my baby. I don't want to have to argue with my OB (he's great and I don't want to switch doctors), but I really feel like something is wrong and I have to fix it. I will talk to my regular doctor and explain to her what my OB wants to do, talk about my symptoms and concerns, and go from there. But I'm pretty sure, if the TSH levels from the blood draw on the 17th come back elevated, I'll be trying the thyroid medication just to see if it'll change how I physically feel. I would just be so much more comfortable with this decision if BOTH of my doctors were in agreement. ::sigh::
09 August 2011
Update
It's been a long time, but I've kind of enjoyed this break from TTC. I really needed to stop focusing on what my temps were every day, peeing on strips, and looking for signs of ovulation followed by obsessing over possible signs of pregnancy. July was pretty much all about relaxing and enjoying time with my son and my husband, and I think it went pretty well.
I did end up having a cycle that month. And this month I was supposed to start clomid again, but I decided against it. Last week I went in to see my regular doctor, and talk about my metformin use. It makes me so incredibly miserable. I felt like I was getting all of the side effects without any of the benefits. I'm still having a hard time losing weight, I'm tired ALL of the time (even if I sleep well), and I've been feeling a bit depressed. She commented on me being pale during that visit, so she decided to check my iron levels, and re-ran a test on my thyroid just to make sure nothing was up. Turns out, my iron was fine by my thyroid levels came back too low. She classified it as being subclinical hypothyroidism, and I will be going to re-check my levels on the 17th. Because of the possibility that I do have hypothyroidism, I decided to take another month off of trying to get pregnant. Reason being, I read that if you get pregnant and have untreated hypothyroidism, it can cause abnormalities and/or mental retardation in the baby. When the doctor asked why I didn't start clomid on this cycle, I explained my reasoning to him and he confirmed what I had read, saying it was a valid reason for not actively trying to conceive.
Also during this visit, I explained that last year my fasting sugar was below 90, but this year when we checked it, the test came back at 112, which is indicative of insulin resistance. So, he decided to go ahead and take some blood to test my A1C (to see how my sugar has been over the last three months) and my TSH levels to see exactly how low they are. If the hypothyroidism is confirmed, we will go ahead and treat it. If my A1C comes back above a 5.6, then we will switch me from metformin to another medication that will not treat the PCOS, but will treat the insulin resistance/pre-diabetes. I should know the results by Friday. After we find out the results we can go ahead and make plans to start up the clomid again.
So far I'm happy with this plan. I really want to know for sure if the hypothyroidism and the insulin resistance exist and should be treated, and then get that under control before we get pregnant so that I don't have another miscarriage or risk the baby developing any abnormalities. I'm hoping that once I get everything under control, I'll get pregnant relatively quickly and have a normal, healthy 9 months. We will see!
I did end up having a cycle that month. And this month I was supposed to start clomid again, but I decided against it. Last week I went in to see my regular doctor, and talk about my metformin use. It makes me so incredibly miserable. I felt like I was getting all of the side effects without any of the benefits. I'm still having a hard time losing weight, I'm tired ALL of the time (even if I sleep well), and I've been feeling a bit depressed. She commented on me being pale during that visit, so she decided to check my iron levels, and re-ran a test on my thyroid just to make sure nothing was up. Turns out, my iron was fine by my thyroid levels came back too low. She classified it as being subclinical hypothyroidism, and I will be going to re-check my levels on the 17th. Because of the possibility that I do have hypothyroidism, I decided to take another month off of trying to get pregnant. Reason being, I read that if you get pregnant and have untreated hypothyroidism, it can cause abnormalities and/or mental retardation in the baby. When the doctor asked why I didn't start clomid on this cycle, I explained my reasoning to him and he confirmed what I had read, saying it was a valid reason for not actively trying to conceive.
Also during this visit, I explained that last year my fasting sugar was below 90, but this year when we checked it, the test came back at 112, which is indicative of insulin resistance. So, he decided to go ahead and take some blood to test my A1C (to see how my sugar has been over the last three months) and my TSH levels to see exactly how low they are. If the hypothyroidism is confirmed, we will go ahead and treat it. If my A1C comes back above a 5.6, then we will switch me from metformin to another medication that will not treat the PCOS, but will treat the insulin resistance/pre-diabetes. I should know the results by Friday. After we find out the results we can go ahead and make plans to start up the clomid again.
So far I'm happy with this plan. I really want to know for sure if the hypothyroidism and the insulin resistance exist and should be treated, and then get that under control before we get pregnant so that I don't have another miscarriage or risk the baby developing any abnormalities. I'm hoping that once I get everything under control, I'll get pregnant relatively quickly and have a normal, healthy 9 months. We will see!
02 July 2011
I just need a break.
I've been slacking on the whole blog front lately. To recap, I was right and my temps falling clued me in to AF showing up. I was seriously optimistic about this cycle however...it was the third month using a clomid dose we knew to work, and third time's a charm right?? I kept track of everything, temps, OPKs, the whole 9 yards. I ovulated right before I left for NY and I was feeling good about how the whole month was going.
I get to NY, and after being there for a few days I start feeling nauseous. At first I was blaming the metformin because I tend to still have bad days while on the 750mg dose. But then it continued and after the 3rd day of being nauseous all day, every day AND having aversions to certain foods, I began to suspect I was pregnant. And the previous two cycles, 7dpo my boobs start to get sore, like clockwork. They stay that way until AF shows up. But this time, that didn't happen. To make matters worse, and push my hopes even higher, I recorded a luteal phase dip on what I thought was 10dpo. My boobs finally started hurting on 11dpo, and that REALLY convinced me this was real. I still hadn't seen any hint of a positive on the pregnancy tests I was taking, but I wasn't surprised if implantation was taking place at 10dpo instead of 6dpo. I thought it was only a matter of time before I saw two pink lines.
Then yesterday happened. I woke up with a BBT of 97.13 which is INSANELY low for me. I went back and looked at my entire luteal phase temps, and they look completely different than the last two months...there was no gentle falling off of the temps. I was confused...I thought maybe by chance more than one implantation?? But then again 97.13 was extremely low, even for a luteal phase dip. I thought maybe it was a fluke and decided to wait to see what today's temps brought my way.
This morning I woke up, and AF is here. WTF???? I don't get what happened. Why was this month so incredibly weird?? AND WHY THE HELL AM I STILL NAUSEOUS?!?!?! I'm beyond disappointed. I'm just so frustrated I could cry. I can't do this to myself for another month. I don't want to have to take my temperature, pee on anything, or set an alarm to take pills. I'm done, I just want a break.
I get to NY, and after being there for a few days I start feeling nauseous. At first I was blaming the metformin because I tend to still have bad days while on the 750mg dose. But then it continued and after the 3rd day of being nauseous all day, every day AND having aversions to certain foods, I began to suspect I was pregnant. And the previous two cycles, 7dpo my boobs start to get sore, like clockwork. They stay that way until AF shows up. But this time, that didn't happen. To make matters worse, and push my hopes even higher, I recorded a luteal phase dip on what I thought was 10dpo. My boobs finally started hurting on 11dpo, and that REALLY convinced me this was real. I still hadn't seen any hint of a positive on the pregnancy tests I was taking, but I wasn't surprised if implantation was taking place at 10dpo instead of 6dpo. I thought it was only a matter of time before I saw two pink lines.
Then yesterday happened. I woke up with a BBT of 97.13 which is INSANELY low for me. I went back and looked at my entire luteal phase temps, and they look completely different than the last two months...there was no gentle falling off of the temps. I was confused...I thought maybe by chance more than one implantation?? But then again 97.13 was extremely low, even for a luteal phase dip. I thought maybe it was a fluke and decided to wait to see what today's temps brought my way.
This morning I woke up, and AF is here. WTF???? I don't get what happened. Why was this month so incredibly weird?? AND WHY THE HELL AM I STILL NAUSEOUS?!?!?! I'm beyond disappointed. I'm just so frustrated I could cry. I can't do this to myself for another month. I don't want to have to take my temperature, pee on anything, or set an alarm to take pills. I'm done, I just want a break.
27 May 2011
Oy...
My temps are starting to fall. I had three straight days of 97.96 and then this morning it dropped to 97.82 degrees. For good measure I also POAS, and it came up negative. Even though I'm not sure exactly what day I ovulated, there should have been some kind of hint of a line by now. So, I'm probably out this month. A bit disappointing, especially after the initial let down of thinking the meds didn't work, and then the happy surprise of finding out that they did work. I'm not sure if I can do clomid again next month, just because you can only use it for a few cycles in a row. I'm also planning a trip to NY in June, so if the doc does want me to use it again, I'm going to have to look at the calendar and make sure I'll actually be home around about the time I should be ovulating. ::sigh::
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