My how things have changed.

Recently I went back and read every single blog post I had on myspace, and one of them made me laugh, hard.  But before I share it with you, I must say I have to chuckle at some of the things I wrote about.  It's funny to look back at all the little things that would put me into a tizzy.  Anyone who doesn't believe that mommyhood has put life into perspective and mellowed me out some, I invite them to go read some of the crazy I had going on!  I also realize I hardly blogged for fun, it was mostly to vent.  Reading blog after blog, rant after rant, I sounded so angry!  I swear I wasn't....there WERE good times that I had on Guam!  Why did I not share them all?  Also....I was a potty mouth!  I drop the occasional F-bomb here and there on Facebook (the new myspace), but I feel weird about cursing someone or something out on my status.  Is it the mommy in me, or just the grown up version of me?  I mean, don't get me wrong, I still curse, probably more than I should in real life.  But I'm not sure I'd ever hop on here and just let it rip.  So reading it all over again, I definitely see some personal growth.

As I said, I had to giggle at some of my entries.  Some of them brought memories flooding back.  I kind of miss it.  Being out in Guam, keeping tally of the earthquakes (10 by the time I left), tsunami and typhoon warnings (1 a piece), and complaining about how I badly I wanted to leave the island where no one knew how to drive and people regularly brought their infants to rated R movies.  And I miss my friends.  I was lucky to meet such good people out there.  I know I complain about the downsides of being a navy wife a lot, but one of the (huge) ups is, I have met some amazing people that would not be in my life, had it not been for the Navy.  And the luckiest of them were witnesses to some of the strangest happenings in my life (like dropping my keys down an elevator shaft).

Anyway, without further adieu, here is possibly, the most entertaining blog post I have ever written.  Enjoy!

[24 Jun 2007 | Sunday] 

yeah lets talk about it.

Current mood:  aggravated

okay, so, bad day. and i'm convinced it was all started by the plague of frogs. no shit, it's like a damn PLAGUE. they're all over the streets and the sidewalks. And i'm not talking like one here, one there, I'm talking groups of threes and fours every few feet. it's like a party and the humans weren't invited. anyways, i say it's all because of the frogs because, it's not normal. i should have known today would be a bad day becauce the frogs were partying in the streets. if that's not a fucking sign, what is???

so, last night, i'm coming home from christy's house at around 11-ish or so. i'm at the last stop sign before my street, and having successfully swerved through the frogs in the road, i feel pretty accomplished. only, when i turn into my street, i see that the cop i was passing on the other side of the road has turned around and FOLLOWS ME HOME. yes, he was right on my ass til i got into the garage. he claims i was speeding, which i wasn't. and i know this because he says, do you know why i followed you? tempted to say "to fulfill the lack of human interaction you've had on your exciting shift?", i instead said no, actually i dont. so he tells me i was, and i quote, "kind of speeding". And you could tell that HOW?? when you were driving in the opposite direction, and obviously didn't have a radar on, because my estimated speed was "kind of speeding". OK, i'll indulge you, "I'm sorry, I'll keep it down next time". THEN he says you also didn't stop at the stop sign. UM, YES I DID. He says "no you just stopped looked, saw no one was coming, and kept going." Now I'm sorry isn't that the POINT????????? Even if i WAS speeding through housing, blowing ALL of the stop signs, there is still NO ONE AROUND for me to hit. So he's all "well, i'll let you go this time". well gee thanks. if he was just going to let me go, why the fuck follow me all the way to my goddamned house, and give me grief??

oh, but it gets better. when i got up this morning to do my errands, i got into the car, turned the key, and nothing. not even a turn over. i'm like FUCK, what the hell is wrong with my car???? then i realize, ok the battery must have died. i look at the dash, and sure enough, like an asshole, i had left the lights on in the car, because i was too busy bieng pissed off that this cop harrassed me. so now i'm like, ok, no problem, christy can come and jump me. but first i have to PUSH my pickup out of the garage so she can reach it. and to do this, i realize i have to figure out which gear is neutral. so i get out of the car, and at first attempted to go to the computer to look it up. then i figured, i can just figure it out by having josiah push, and when it moves, it's obviously neutral. i go to get in the car, and it's locked.

THE FUCKING DOOR LOCKED ITSELF. oh but wait, my keys are not the only thing locked in the car. my purse, with all my money, credit cards, and atm cards, my base id, my cell phone.....basically my whole life is in that car. i'm like, wait, don't panic. i told casey to leave his keys. i go to get the keys, and they're gone. he took them. here's where i start screming obscenities in my garage so that the entire neighborhood can hear that i can put a sailor to shame. WHAT THE FUCK ARE THOSE KEYS GONNA DO FOR HIS ASS ON A FUCKING SUBMARINE??????? i was PISSED. infuriated even. i could not BELIEVE this shit. i call base security and they basically tell me, ha well sucks for you because we won't break into anyone's car for liability reasons. Well i'm so fucking glad base security is here to help me out of a jam. they couldn't even give me the number to someone who could help me. WHAT THE FUCK.

anyways, i made myself a strong drink, and called a guy in the phone book, who christy had to go pick up at the pass and ID office. when she tried to get him a base pass, he handed the guy a GUN permit instead of a license. HE DIDN'T HAVE ONE! finally, she ends up having to drive him to my house in HER car.  he finally gets in after 20 minutes of sweating all over my damn truck. THEN, he tells me, oh, cash only, as i whip out the check book. oh yeah? hold on, let me swipe my atm card down the crack of my ass so i can pay you. i tell him, i don't HAVE any cash, who do i make it out to? he's like no you can't. i said look, i can make it out to cash and you can walk into navy federal on your way out the gate and cash it there (he had to leave his truck in the bank parking lot for crying out loud it's not like he had to go out of his way), but i don't have it. if you don't take a check, you're not gettin paid. he finally took the damn check.

so, it starts pouring and we can't finish the job we INITIALLY set out to do, which was, JUMP MY FRIGGEN CAR. we go off to the mall, and come back a couple of hours later. we managed to push my car out of the garage, and christy successfully jumps the car. i go to get back into the car to get something out of it, and the door is locked AGAIN. i swear this car has it out for me. LUCKILY the other door was open. needless to say i'm going to get another car key made, and i'm giving it to sarah to hold on to, because i know she won't be RUDE and take it on a submarine with her.

anyways, i left it running for a half and hour, then turned it off to see if it would start while i still had christy sitting in my driveway, just in case i needed a jump. good thing too because it wouldn't start. we reattached the cables, and it STILL wouldn't start. i'm freaking out because i need a car. she calls her dad, who was clueless as to what to do. then she calls her mom, super car genuis, because shes using all these technical terms and shit, asking of the car is fuel injected and what not. finally she tells me to turn the key and give it some gas. of course i flood it because i have no idea what a light foot is. after waiting and trying again, problem solved. but, i had to drive it around with NO AC and NO RADIO, in the muggy heat for almost an hour for the battery to re-charge. i swear, could ANYTHING ELSE possibly happen???? fucking frogs.